Taylor Swift is everywhere. Even when she doesn’t have a record to promote, you still can’t escape her. She’s a shrewd businesswoman. She’s articulate. She has an ever-changing but always famous group of friends. Her music is extremely catchy. She got to this point by seeming approachable and fun, but you simply can’t be as famous as Taylor Swift and remain real and regular. It’s a fact we all come to recognize in our own time. The question is: When did you realize that, while persuasive, everything Taylor Swift is peddling is a lie? We asked our staff.
“Dear John,” 2010
Amanda Dobbins: So, disclaimer first: I object to the word “lying” here — it presumes that all other celebrities are honest and giving us the most authentic versions of themselves. We have a whole podcast about this concept, but the short version is: they are not. Celebrity is a mediated experience. Everyone is creating a marketable image, and some people (Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, Adele) sell it better than others. My main complaint with Taylor Swift is that she no longer does it well — you can see the puppet strings. You can see the goddamn photographer she hired to follow her friends around all weekend. That’s just shoddy craftsmanship.
I’d like to believe that she is intentionally exposing the artifice of celebrity, but I’m not sure she has that much DGAF in her. (Taylor is basically the patron saint of giving a fuck; it’s what makes her music worthwhile.) So I would like to go back to the peak of Taylor’s media manipulation, which was a six-minute, 47-second John Mayer subtweet called “Dear John.” The fireworks line! That fake-bluesy Mayer guitar riff! It is still thrilling to think about a 19-year-old country singer throwing this bomb at such a well-documented douchebag. She knew exactly what she was doing — she told us exactly what she was doing, in the song title and in the liner notes and in every interview that played the victim while shaming Mayer into hiding. It was fake — they dated for, like, three weeks — but it was new, and it was a triumph. Give me more of that.
The ‘Us Weekly’ Cover With Jake Gyllenhaal, December 2010
Alyssa Bereznak: I’d only been living in Park Slope for about six months when the Us Weekly cover bubbled up in my news feed. “Jake & Taylor IN LOVE,” read the 2010 headline, which was pasted over a photo of Jake Gyllenhaal and Swift embracing during a “Thanksgiving Day stroll” in the Brooklyn neighborhood. At first, I was vaguely impressed by the fact that Swift, then a country singer based in Nashville, had so easily mastered the granola-crunch aesthetic of the neighborhood: she in a black winter coat, skinny jeans, and playful silver oxfords, on the arm of Jake, in baggy dad jeans and a light Patagonia puffer jacket. But the closer I looked, the more uncomfortable I felt staring into a glossy funhouse mirror of my surroundings. Jake was holding a bag from Union Market, a gourmet grocery store that sells cheese that costs more than its weight in gold. In Taylor’s hand was a cup that prominently displayed the logo of Gorilla Coffee, an independently owned, self-proclaimed “micro-roastery” known for its maple lattes (which is what she obviously ordered). The whole thing was a terrifyingly adept advertisement for artisanal Brooklyn autumn, worthy of a bored Midwestern wife’s Pinterest board. More eerily, it was Taylor Swift’s Brooklyn — an idyllic backdrop for her new big-city romance that one lucky (and most definitely tipped-off) pap was thrilled to photograph.
Robert Mays: The moment I saw this photo of her and Jake Gyllenhaal. No two humans have ever actually walked down a street in that manner. I also refuse to believe that the guy capable of the bizarreness that Gyllenhaal oozed in Prisoners would ever own that fucking coat.
Gyllenhaal’s twitchy, neck-tattooed Detective Loki was all I enjoyed about Denis Villenueve’s too long, too Hugh Jackman–screamy movie. It was also the second role he took after the Swift split. The four roles after his country-girl phase, in order: End of Watch, Prisoners, Enemy, and Nightcrawler. Go watch those movies and tell me that four-year stretch isn’t one collective effort to get weird enough to shed the Patagonia stink.
‘Red,’ October 2012
Matt Borcas: Taylor Swift’s Machiavellian nature came to light during the Red era, just as she was making the jump from “crossover hitmaker” to “pop megastar.” Tay astutely realized that, as her popularity grew, the more likely she was to face backlash for becoming mainstream. So, on Red, she declared war on hipsters, which served the dual purpose of disarming potential critics and pandering to her poptimistic base. On “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” she sneered about an ex’s “indie record that’s much cooler than mine” (no word on what record it was, but it probably was cooler than Red), and on “22,” she mocked twentysomethings for having the temerity to “dress up like hipsters.” Shots fired.
But here’s the thing: Acknowledging a potential criticism doesn’t automatically make you exempt from it, nor does it make said criticism any less valid. Ostensibly, these winking jabs were supposed to earn Taylor a seat at the cool-kids’ table, but she’s no Carles, and, ultimately, they had the opposite effect. Her follow-up album, 1989, only confirmed the futility of Taylor’s efforts: If Kendrick Lamar and Ryan Adams can’t make you seem cool, then you must be pretty lame.
The Central Park Date With Harry Styles, December 2012
Bill Simmons: I knew Taylor Swift was lying to me once she established that she didn’t have a type. Everyone has a type. Everyone. Every single person who ever lived. Maybe you drift away from that type once or twice over eight years, but not consistently. Taylor Swift has dated older guys, MUCH older guys, younger guys, masculine guys, not so masculine guys, damaged guys, innocent guys, rich guys, struggling actors, famous actors, virginal guys, lotharios … there’s just no rhyme or reason to these picks (well, except they’re all white). She picks boyfriends like someone would fill positions on their fantasy team. Ask yourself this: why doesn’t she date non-celebrities? Why hasn’t she ever fallen for a bartender, an anonymous club owner, a fringe relief pitcher, a Peet’s barista, a roadie from one of her tours, even one of our handsome Ringer staffers? I will believe in Taylor Swift again when she dates someone from The Ringer.
Juliet Litman: In December 2012, Taylor was on the road to promote Red. One Direction was on the road to promote One Direction, their self-titled debut album. From the beginning, it was abundantly clear that Harry Styles (the one with the hair) was going to be the 1D breakout. Taylor noticed and took action. One weekend in New York, their respective publicity obligations aligned, and Taylor and Harry alerted the paparazzi. They decided to announce their fake coupling by walking around Central Park with Harry’s hair stylist, Lou, and Lou’s baby. They even went to the zoo. There are pictures of Harry, Taylor, a baby, and a seal. It’s a setup so absurd that neither Nancy Meyers nor Nora Ephron would ever conceive of it — and those two women have thought of all possible romantic endeavors. Why did they have to bring a baby into it?
The Visit to McNally Jackson, April 2014
Allison P. Davis: It was the year 2014, the beginning of her Welcome to New York phase and when she went “shopping” at the famed bookstore McNally Jackson. I’m sure Taylor Swift is literate and has a robust interest in the literary arts, but the fact she dressed up in her idea of what Zelda Fitzgerald would wear to a 1920s Paris salon made me think she just filled those shopping bags with a copy of Eat, Pray, Love and some rocks, and waited for the paps to show up.
“No It’s Becky” Shirt, September 2014
Alison Herman: One scrap of yellow fabric. Three words. Thousands of haters converted in a brief flash of meta self-awareness, the cynic’s kryptonite. It was a PR coup so total — so efficient — it had to be fake. And there’s no better summation of Taylor’s entire 1989-era image revamp, wherein Swift and her #squad of handlers took every scrap of negativity (Boy crazy! Slut shaming! Humorless!) in her persona and threw it back in the public’s face: She’s wearing her [cue “Shake It Off”] haters on her T-shirt!
“Backseat Freestyle” Video Surfaces, November 2014
Cathy Lew: Few things annoy me more than a fake friendship, but the only thing more condescending is being forced to watch said friendship miraculously unfold. In fall of 2014, Taylor Swift made it a priority to let everyone know that Kendrick Lamar’s “Backseat Freestyle” was her go-to song. By then Good Kid, M.A.A.D City was almost two years old — nothing off that album was anyone’s immediate “go-to” (and if it were, it would be “Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe”). The equivalent would be grabbing the aux in 2016 and saying “Let’s listen to ‘Call Me Maybe’!!!” It took less than 20 months to see how Taylor’s cool/chill/casual compliment developed into a Grammy-winning collaboration between the artists. It may not have been the first time Taylor lied to us, but it was the first time that I was watching the master puppeteer in real time, as if I had intercepted the emoji-laden text from Taylor to Kendrick saying, “will u be my public-facing bff y/n?”
Jason Alexander Declares That He Discovered Taylor, May 2015
Claire McNear: Last year, Jason Alexander made a shocking revelation: It was he who first discovered Taylor Swift. Back in 2007, Alexander directed and starred in a music video for Brad Paisley that featured, among other things, Paisley and Alexander playing guitar on stage in front of a screen with what looked a lot like the flashing green numerals from The Matrix (2007 was a weird time) and two very blonde, very wiggly young women. The one with cowboy boots, crimped hair, and the visible inability to keep herself from singing along? T SWIFT. I’m sorry, but if you are forged in the fires of Costanza, you are bound to be up to something. Oh, and the chorus of that song that Swift couldn’t help but sing? “I’m so much cooler online.”
The “Fight” With Apple, June 2015
Kate Knibbs: June 21, 2015: Taylor Swift, supposedly, single-handedly fixed a music industry problem with a heartfelt Tumblr post imploring Apple to care about artists. Less than 24 hours after Swift types her Jerry Maguire–esque letter to Apple, the company reverses its position on payments for music played during its free trial period.
Or so went the pat, win-win narrative enthusiastically pushed out by Swift and Apple.
June 22, 2015: I realize that Taylor Swift is a LIAR who is in cahoots with Apple. Do I have proof? No, but I have common sense. I have no doubt that Taylor really did want Apple to pay artists during the trial period. I have major doubts that Swift published her Tumblr post without first working out a backroom deal with Apple. Apple’s ludicrously fast response time is a big tell — are we expected to believe that the company was able to completely change a major policy within the span of a couple of hours?
Victor Luckerson: Just before Apple launched its music-streaming service last June, Taylor Swift penned the politest takedown of all time, proclaiming that 1989 wouldn’t be available on Apple Music because the company wasn’t paying artists royalties during the service’s three-month trial period. Apple had spent years of development time and billions of dollars on the streaming service, but at the eleventh hour, it immediately gave in to Swift’s wishes and agreed to pay artists more.
The move, suspiciously announced on a late Sunday night in order to get a full week’s worth of positive press, made Apple look like benevolent music gods for throwing a few more pennies to starving musicians. Swift was cast as the people’s champion, fighting for the royalty rights of the little guy.
This was the most bullshit beef since Kanye and 50 Cent tried to trick us into buying Curtis. Apple and Swift plotted every step of this carefully coordinated chicanery, knowing it would make both of their kinda-evil-if-you-squint brands come out smelling golden. Apple shifted a little bit of money from the marketing budget to pay artists, and Swift inked a deal to ruin “Jumpman” in commercials. Somewhere in his iPhone, Tim Cook has the Money-Mouth Face emoji that proves it.
The Apple Music Commercial, April 2016
Molly McHugh: While I’d always had my suspicions of Taylor Swift, I didn’t 100 percent, absolutely know I was being lied to until this abomination:
Mere months after poetically lambasting Apple Music and the entire streaming industry — and incurring change at Apple, I guess, whatever — Taylor went ahead and forged a sudden and certainly spontaneous relationship with the company. This is supposed to feel tongue in cheek: Get it? She hated them, they stopped doing the thing she hated, and now they’re combining their brands’ powers in a cute way, RIGHT?! Wrong! This is so calculated, and my gut says this video (in which Taylor looks EXACTLY like Anna Wintour!) was filmed before she even wrote the letter. After filming, she turned to Jimmy Iovine, squinted her eyes, and said, “You know what would make this sooooo much better?”
