An obituary for the boy who loved chocolate pudding and grew up a little too fast on ‘The Walking Dead’

Carl Grimes, zombie apocalypse survivor, Alexandria community member, also known as Coral Grimes, passed away on Sunday night. The son of Alexandria’s leader, Rick Grimes, Carl was felled by a zombie bite in the abdomen while rescuing a pacifist survivor of the zombie apocalypse. Through a combination of severe infection and irony, Carl passed away on Sunday night.

Carl was … 15 years old?

AMC

Carl grew rapidly between the ages of 12 and 15, as if those three years were something closer to a decade.

Carl is remembered by his father Rick, the Grimes patriarch. At a funeral service held on Monday, Rick spoke at length about the “stuff” and “things” that made the bond with his son so special. He repeatedly referred to his son as “Coral”—it is unclear if this was a term of endearment, a constant confrontation of accents, or both. Carl is also survived by Judith, his infant half-sister, the product of an extramarital affair between Carl’s mom, Lori, and Rick’s best friend/perpetual head-rubber, Shane Walsh. “This stuff isn’t as complicated as you think,” Rick added at the funeral. “We were just going through some things.”

Attendees at the service were given giant tubs of pudding, Carl’s favorite post-apocalyptic snack.

In addition to Rick’s emotional speech, other Alexandrians prepared remarks in celebration of Carl’s life. Daryl Dixon, his face obscured by the greasy long mop that is his hair, spoke about Carl’s maturity after some early stumbles in the zombie hellscape. “I mean, he did taunt a zombie that eventually killed Dale back when we were at Hershel’s farm,” he said. “But at least we got to keep Dale’s RV for a while.” Many Alexandrians didn’t recall the moment, but noted that spending a lot of time at a farm sounded quite boring.

Carl’s lover Enid spoke next. The two were brought together by virtue of being the only people in their age group of the opposite sex. “I remember the first time I realized he could be the One,” she began, talking about the moment they first hit it off. She continued, recalling their dismal-yet-romantic meet-cute inside a hollow tree trunk, in which they touched hands while making sure they still had a knife handy.

“Literally,” she continued, “there’s no one I can date now.”

Though he wasn’t able to attend the funeral service on the account of his community being at war with Alexandria, Negan, the leather-clad leader of the Saviors, shared a written statement mourning the loss of the young Grimes. He fondly recalled looking at Carl’s “badass” eye socket, back when Carl tried to single-handedly kill Negan at the Saviors’ outpost (again, Carl made his fair share of mistakes as a hot-headed teen). “While I plan to beat the ever-loving shit out of his daddy with Lucille,” Negan added, “I respected the hell out of his son. I really enjoyed eating spaghetti with him that one time.”

The funeral service was held in the afternoon, and outside of an unconfirmed argument about a fair distribution of stipends involving Hilltop leader Maggie Greene, it was a beautiful ceremony. It lasted 82 minutes.

Miles Surrey
Miles writes about television, film, and whatever your dad is interested in. He is based in Brooklyn.

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