The true spectacle of the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest begins before anyone starts eating. Not everyone enjoys watching people scarf down dozens of hot dogs—understandable—but anyone with two ears and one soul can listen to the pre-contest competitor introductions in awe.
“He was first seen standing at the edge of the shore between the ancient marks of the high and low tide, a place that is neither land nor sea,” George Shea, the contest’s longtime master of ceremonies, said about one eater during the 2016 introductions. “But as the moonlight ... filtered through the darkness, it revealed a man who has been to the beyond and witnessed the secrets of life and death.”
Yes, this is standard fare at the hot dog eating contest. Shea, the event’s MC since the early 1990s, the creator of the Major League eating competitive circuit, and perhaps the most gifted orator of his generation, crafts introductions that are pure theater.
Shea was an aspiring writer who studied literature at Columbia but went into public relations. He ended up running a PR firm with his brother where he managed the Nathan’s account, and the two turned the Nathan’s Hot Dog contest from a Coney Island sideshow into an international event televised by ESPN. Key to the contest’s success is Shea, who introduces each competitor with an irresistible allure that is part sermon, part carnival barking, and part prophecy.
Every year on America’s birthday, Shea shares his divine gift with the masses as he introduces another crop of Mustard Belt hopefuls. To celebrate the true hero of the competition, here are the 10 best Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest introductions of all time.
Honorable Mentions
24.5 out of 25 Foods
At the 2016 hot dog eating contest, Shea said that contestant Yasir Salem could “recite his 25 favorite foods, in reverse order of preference, focusing primarily but not exclusively on Mexican and Italian dishes.” Shea then proceeded to name 24 dishes, but stumbled on the 25th, running out of breath between “chicken scaloppine” and “tortellini.” It was impressive, sure, but Shea is a professional, and we expect perfection.
Shea Predicts the Future
“Deep in the future,” Shea begins in his 2013 introduction for Bob “Notorious B.O.B.” Shoudt, “after the wisdom of Donald Trump has been enshrined alongside that of Confucius—”
Shea gets points for this prophecy but demerits for not warning us what it meant.
No. 10: Marcos Owens, 2013
Soft piano chords float above as Shea’s soothing whisper begins. “In moments of stress, [Owens] imagines a field of grass swaying in the wind.” Suddenly, the piano gives way to a death metal guitar, the whisper crescendos, and we realize that Owens has a darker side. “In moments of anger, [Owens] imagines inflicting emotional pain and suffering on those around him. … Today, he is angry.”
Like the event itself, this introduction goes from zero to 100 in a matter of moments. The only shocking part is that Shea mentioned a field of grass without referencing The Sound of Music.
No. 9: Joey Chestnut, 2017
Chestnut has won the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest 10 times in the last 11 years. That success stirs the cauldron of Shea’s creative juices in a way no other eater can. This is the weakest intro Chestnut has gotten since 2011, yet the prose evokes Shea’s influences, James Joyce and Flannery O’Connor.
“He is the citadel, and he shall endure forever, because he is freedom,” Shea said as Chestnut rode a mustard-yellow chariot past dozens of fans in hot dog hats. “And he will fight until the dome of heaven collapses and the black avalanche of space pours down around him.”
No. 8 Crazy Legs Conti, 2016
Crazy Legs Conti is the French-cut green beans eating champion of the world (seriously). A Johns Hopkins graduate who looks like Jack Sparrow dove into a vat of glitter, Conti began eating competitively in 2002 when he ate 168 oysters in 10 minutes at a contest that April. His personal website describes him as, “an eccentric New York window washer, nude model and sperm donor, and huge fan of the annual July 4 hot dog eating competition.”
“He was buried alive under 60 cubic feet of popcorn, and he ate his way out to survival,” Shea bellowed. “And that is why we call him the David Blaine of the bowel, the Evel Knievel of the alimentary canal, the Houdini of Cuisini, Crazy Legs Conti!”
Unless my eyes deceive me, Crazy Legs spits glitter out of his mouth not once, but twice during this introduction. Did he swallow glitter before an eating contest?
No. 7: Joey Chestnut, 2012
With Chestnut looking to capture his sixth consecutive Nathan’s Mustard Belt, which would have tied him in all-time wins with the legendary Takeru Kobayashi, Shea positioned Chestnut as a beacon of hope the world could all turn toward.
“The rock on which he stands is not a rock! IT IS COURAGE! ... Ladies and gentlemen, the no. 1–ranked eater in the world. The asparagus, and wonton, and corned-beef eating champion of the world. He has God’s username and password, and he does with it what he chooses!”
This isn’t Shea’s finest work introducing Chestnut, but the Sistine Chapel ceiling isn’t even Michelangelo’s finest painting. This is still epic work.
No. 6: Rich “The Locust” LeFevre, 2016
Quick: Is this man Bernie Sanders’s younger brother, or the spam-eating champion of the world?
“[LaFevre] is the unstoppable ninja force at the center of all lifepower,” Shea said. “And an accountant from Las Vegas, Nevada.”
LeFevre’s wife, Carlene, is also a competitive eater. And according to his Wikipedia page, which is obviously unbiased, he “is known for his strong jaw and for his capacity, which seems to increase, not decrease, as a contest progresses.” From now on he should be known for casually skyhooking streamers into the crowd before he takes the stage.
No. 5: Yasir Salem, 2015
“He will do whatever it takes to win,” Shea said. “Three days ago he broke up with his girlfriend and euthanized his dog to leave a void of emptiness inside of him that he can fill today with hot dogs and buns.”
Behold the raw power of the spoken word: These two sentences alone can make your jaw drop and heart sink. I still can’t believe I heard this live on ESPN2.
No. 4. Tim “Eater X” Janus, 2013
“He lost his arm to a Bengal tiger in a boyhood visit to the Atlanta zoo,” Shea said. Janus walked toward the stage. “But his arm grew back. He can speak Neutrino, the language of the sun, and all day long he listens to the conversations in the sky.”
We can laugh off Shea’s hyperbole with regard to most contestants, but when it comes to Eater X you kind of stop for a second and wonder whether it’s true. This guy does look like he could probably speak to the sun. The tiramisu, ramen, and nigiri sushi eating champion of the world evokes Patrick Star–level enigma vibes that Shea captures perfectly.
No. 3: Eater X, 2015
As great as Eater X’s 2013 introduction was, Shea topped himself in 2015.
“He was born outside of time,” Shea said. “A witness to all possible realities. He was there when the sea and the sky were mixed together as one and humans floated from the depths of the Pacific to the very edge of space where they looked out at the stars in the blackness.”
Side note: You know Eater X has no fears because he high fives like two-dozen people here before taking the stage to eat 35 hot dogs without getting an opportunity to wash his hands. Not even God knows what microscopic horrors lie on the hands of a crowd baking in the July Staten Island sun.
No. 2: Joey Chestnut, 2016
Shea told The New Yorker two years ago that great introductions must “ride the razor’s edge between joking and not joking.” In 2016, Shea dove off the cliff.
Two years earlier, at the 2014 contest, Chestnut had proposed to his girlfriend onstage before the contest—she said yes. The next year, just days before the competition, Chestnut and his fiancée ended their engagement, and Chestnut lost the 2015 contest for the first time in nine years.
Perhaps out of ideas after having introduced him for a decade, Shea used this very, very real story for the most cringe-worthy piece of television since the “Dinner Party” episode of The Office.
“Two years ago, on this stage, he asked his girlfriend to marry him,” Shea said. “And then last year, one week before the contest, the wedding was called off. And then on the Fourth of July he lost the title of world champion. And he was beaten, and he was broken, and he was alone. And nothing that he owned had any value, and his thoughts had no shape, and no meaning, and the words fell from his mouth without sound. And he was lost and empty-handed, standing like a boy without friends on the schoolyard.”
I want to reiterate that all of these introductions are ridiculous and mostly sourced from the imagination of one man. Except for this one, WHICH IS EXTREMELY REAL AND TRUE and was witnessed by MILLIONS of people. Based on Chestnut’s reaction, it seems that he was onboard with the sharing of these details, which means we can digest this epic tale guilt-free. Truth is better than fiction, and this is some ruthless truth. This might be the best introduction, but we can’t end on that note.
No. 1: Joey Chestnut, 2015
[The opening of Baba O’Riley plays in the background.]
“In a world of nothing. Of barren hills and cracked earth and once-proud oceans drained to sand, there will still be a monument to our existence. Bleached by the sun, perhaps, and blunted by time, but everlasting. Because this man represents all that is eternal in the human experience. … Through the curtain of the aurora, a comet blazes to herald his arrival, and his victory shall be transcribed into every language known to history, including Klingon. The Bratwurst, and Pierogi, and Hooters Chicken Wing eating champion of the world, eight-time Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating champion of the world, the no. 1 eater in the world, I give you America itself, Joey Chestnut.”
OUT HERE IN THE FIEEEEELDS
I FIGHT FOR MY MEAAALLLLLS
George Shea, not Joey Chestnut, deserves for his words to be transcribed into every language known to history, because George Shea is America itself.
