NFL teams that don’t have a quarterback in mid-February feel just like single people scrolling through Instagram on Valentine’s Day. We get it; the Kansas City Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes are beautiful and happy and successful. Get this out of my algorithm, please. Everyone else must swipe through the football Tinder morass of Sam Darnold and Taylor Heinicke jabronis in the hope of finding the next Geno Smith.
With spring in the air and free agency on the horizon, it’s time for some single NFL teams to slide into those proverbial DMs and for coupled-up teams to define their relationships. Which NFL team-QB combos are about to send out their save the dates? Who will break up? And who is heading into this scene single and ready to mingle? Let’s get to The Ringer’s annual QB Commitment Index.
Editor’s note: We have excluded Deshaun Watson and the Cleveland Browns from this list; Watson still faces two active civil lawsuits filed by women who said he committed sexual misconduct during massage appointments.
Relationship Goals
Kansas City Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes
Buffalo Bills and Josh Allen
Mahomes and the Chiefs are the couple everyone stalks on Instagram, wondering, “Why can’t I find a man like him?” They are creating unrealistic standards for everyone else: two Super Bowl titles in four years and perfect contract harmony.
The Bills and Josh Allen found true love after starting out as laughingstocks. They both had recent glow-ups and are super hot now. They haven’t had the playoff success they want, but this is the kind of relationship where they will overcome that together.
Ring Shopping
Cincinnati Bengals and Joe Burrow
Los Angeles Chargers and Justin Herbert
Philadelphia Eagles and Jalen Hurts
All of these quarterbacks are eligible for massive contract extensions, which is the NFL equivalent of family members starting to ask when you will propose.
The Bengals and Burrow are destined to be together forever. But they also have different budgets in mind for their wedding. The Bengals are a more … frugal organization. Sometimes, they offer to split the check at dinner. Sometimes, they make players drink from water fountains instead of splurging for bottled water and Gatorade, or they offer players used jockstraps instead of buying them new ones. Understandably, one of Cincinnati’s hottest exes, Carson Palmer, left the team because he felt they were not committed to winning a Super Bowl.
But even the Bengals seem to understand that Burrow is a keeper—and they must open their checkbook to buy Burrow the equivalent of one hell of an engagement ring. Burrow is surely looking to surpass the six-year, $258 million deal that Josh Allen signed in Buffalo. The Bengals will have to show they are willing to invest in this relationship. Maybe the Bengals can engrave a Cracker Jack ring like in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
The Chargers and Justin Herbert started hot and heavy, but this offense has become stale, predictable, and boring—the death knell for romance. Former offensive coordinator Joe Lombardi was fired for running a missionary offense where Herbert’s average pass length ranked third to last in the NFL. Maybe new offensive coordinator Kellen Moore can add some zest and use that big arm Herbert is famous for. L.A. might have some confidence issues after blowing a 27-0 lead in the playoffs. Everyone knows the Chargers have trouble finishing.
Philadelphia is the fuccboi who never wanted to settle with one person but now has been forced into putting a ring on it with superstar QB Jalen Hurts, who is coming off a four-touchdown performance (three rushing, one passing) in the Super Bowl. Philly isn’t a believer in monogamy per se. They believe in having two quarterbacks. It’s nontraditional and controversial, but it’s also how they ended up drafting Hurts in the first place. But now Hurts has been so good that the Eagles probably have to commit to him and abandon their polygamous lifestyle for something more traditional.
Totally Out of Your League
Jacksonville Jaguars and Trevor Lawrence
The Jaguars are your friend who hasn’t had much luck with dating, and then all of a sudden, they are dating someone way out of their league. How did the Jaguars snag this tall blond? We don’t know what Trevor sees in Jacksonville, but the Jags better not screw it up!
Rushed Into Marriage—and an Ironclad Prenup
Denver Broncos and Russell Wilson
The Broncos had their sights set on another man: Green Bay’s Aaron Rodgers. But when he ended up staying with the Packers, the Broncos jumped into a marriage with Wilson while insisting he was the man they wanted all along. But all it took was one night together for the Broncos to realize there was no physical chemistry there. The prenup they signed is ironclad—a $100 million divorce this offseason is not in the cards. So now they are stuck in this weird house with almost as many bathrooms (12) as Wilson had touchdown passes this season (16) and very few moments of, uh, satisfaction (one division win). Now, the Broncos have hired Sean Payton to be the marriage counselor of sorts, like Barbra Streisand in Meet the Fockers.
Openly Toxic
Arizona Cardinals and Kyler Murray
These two got married last summer, and the unofficial theme was “Red Flag Wedding.” Murray and Arizona’s nuptials, by way of a five-year, $231 million contract the QB signed last summer, were overshadowed when news leaked that their prenup included a clause limiting Murray’s time playing video games. (Let’s be real—how many partners wish they could get this promise from their man in writing?) But this was merely the latest weird thing in this relationship!
First, there was all of the drama before the engagement. Last February, ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reported that some people in the Cardinals organization believed Murray was “self-centered, immature and [a] finger pointer.” Murray’s agent (who also represented then head coach Kliff Kingsbury—can you say “love triangle”?) responded by publicly giving Murray all the credit for Arizona’s recent successes and said the Cardinals were not fully committed to “consistently competing for championships.” Those are fighting words! And no surprise, Murray and Kingsbury fought all season—their sideline spats were often more entertaining than the Cardinals’ actual games. By the end of the year, the Cardinals fired Kingsbury, who was so exhausted that he booked a one-way flight to Thailand.
The team said it let Murray be part of the process to interview a head coach (the team settled on Jonathan Gannon last week), though Terry Bradshaw was openly saying his Fox television colleague Sean Payton didn’t want the Cardinals job because of Murray (Bradshaw was saying a bunch of stuff he shouldn’t have said last week). We’ll see how long this new Gannon-Murray marriage lasts. The Cardinals are the NFL’s oldest franchise (which is weird). And in their 100-plus-year history, from Chicago to St. Louis to Arizona, they have never had the same head coach for more than six consecutive seasons. Perhaps Murray is truly their chaotic soulmate. Or perhaps both will be happier after they get a divorce.
Ride or Die
Dallas Cowboys and Dak Prescott
You know those cute old couples who still hold hands on park benches? That’s Dak and the Cowboys. Jerry Jones loves Dak Prescott. Dak Prescott loves Jerry Jones. These two will be together until death do them part, no matter how many brain farts Prescott has in playoff losses to the 49ers. There will be no separating these two. The same way old-school Catholics frown on divorce, Jerry Jones frowns on ever admitting he is wrong. That’s why Jason Garrett kept his job for a decade and Mike McCarthy still has one. To be clear, Dak is worth keeping. But even if he weren’t, Jerry would never let go.
Puppy Love
Pittsburgh Steelers and Kenny Pickett
The Steelers have had awful taste in men recently, with Mason Rudolph and Mitchell Trubisky. But Kenny Pickett is the local boy next door. No, literally, he went to college at Pitt, whose football team shares a facility with the Steelers. The Steelers and Pickett are in puppy love right now, but is Pickett the right man for the Steelers? Or have they just been with such awful dudes recently that anyone who beats the Ravens looks like the one?
When Harry Met Sally
New York Giants and Daniel Jones
Seattle Seahawks and Geno Smith
Sometimes, love takes longer than you expect to unfold. For the Giants, who drafted Jones in the first round in 2019, it took until midway through the 2022 season for it to become clear Jones was worthy of being the one. Smith, who won the NFL’s Comeback Player of the Year for his 2022 performance for the Seahawks, had an even longer wait, going eight years between opportunities to be a starter. But now, both these squads appear ready to stick with their men even as they reach free agency—and a payday. Jones just changed agents, which is the QB version of when the protagonist in a rom-com finds a new confidant late in the movie. Jones is now reportedly asking for around $45 million per year. Perhaps this will lead to a breakup. But it’s more likely that this is some spicy drama to build up the third act, and it will end with the Giants winning Jones back with a dramatic speech in the rain (or the franchise tag).
And Smith has already said he wants to be a Seahawk, even if it means taking a discount. “I want to finish my career in Seattle,” Smith said in January. “I want to be here. The town, the city, the team, coach Carroll, the organization, they all embraced me. I was a guy who probably could have been out of the league, and they embraced me, and I want to repay them for that.”
Smith also said, “I love that Pete Carroll gets cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes him an hour and a half to order a sandwich. … When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
Actually, I’m not sure if Geno said that last part.
Two Kids and a White Picket Fence
Los Angeles Rams and Matthew Stafford
Minnesota Vikings and Kirk Cousins
The Rams were Matthew Stafford’s sugar daddy in 2021, but it’s like sugar daddy had way too much money in Ethereum and Bored Ape Yacht Club NFTs, and now sugar daddy is broke. These two are still together, mostly for tax (or salary cap) reasons and because the Rams are insisting that trading away their first-round picks is still a good hedge against the dollar or something.
The Vikings and Kirk Cousins are together out of inertia. They aren’t happy together, per se—especially after Cousins checked down on fourth down to end Minnesota’s season against the Giants in the playoffs (Vikings fans probably struggled to remember the last time Kirk made them feel any fireworks). But it’s just too financially complicated for these two to separate. And who would they find to replace him? Perhaps it’s easier, and more comfortable, to just accept this lot in life.
“Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace”
Detroit Lions and Jared Goff
Chicago Bears and Justin Fields
Both these teams are at that point in the wedding ceremony when anyone can object to the impending marriage; it’s the final chance to commit or back out. Both the Lions and the Bears have top-six picks in this year’s draft. Both these teams could easily replace their starting quarterbacks if they were so inclined. So despite the fact that the Bears and Lions don’t have to give an extension to their quarterbacks for a year or two, in reality, they must decide whether to stick with these guys long term by the end of April.
Do the Lions really want to replace Goff with another Goff-esque quarterback like Ohio State’s C.J. Stroud? Do the Bears trade the first overall pick and build around Fields? Or do they trade Fields and use the first pick to take a new quarterback?
These are not light decisions. We’re talking about teams leaving a quarterback at the altar to run off with another man. This draft is Bridgerton Season 2, the Bears are Anthony Bridgerton, Justin Fields is Edwina, and Bryce Young is Kate. The question is whether any of these rookie quarterbacks will hit the heart of a Chicago or Detroit front office exec like a wrecking ball.
Vaguely Toxic
New England Patriots and Mac Jones
Miami Dolphins and Tua Tagovailoa
The Patriots’ longtime hubby Tom Brady dumped them, and New England went into a spiral. Now, they are dating a guy who looks kinda like Brady but is half his age (classic midlife crisis). But Bill Belichick didn’t give Jones the attention he needed last year, passing the offense to Matt Patricia despite, you know, Patricia never coaching offense before. Mac was caught on camera in a game this season screaming, “The fucking quick [passing] game sucks!” That is brutal for Mac. He is 24, and his head coach is 70: When you end up with someone 50 years your senior, the quick game is all you got going for you. It’s no wonder Patricia is out and Belichick is hoping Bill O’Brien can make things work with Jones.
Meanwhile in Miami, Tua is a nice guy. Super sweet. But this is Miami. It’s not exactly a place people go to meet nice guys. It was only a year ago that the Dolphins were plotting to get Tom Brady to be their quarterback. What’s to stop them from sniffing around for an upgrade again? After Tua’s harrowing season last year, during which he suffered multiple concussions, Miami might be concerned about Tua’s long-term health.
Will the Dolphins stick with Tua? Probably. Do the Dolphins love Tua? Probably not! Don’t be surprised if they kick Tua to the curb the first chance they get and give him the “It’s not you, it’s me.” Super nice guy though!
Fighting in Public
Baltimore Ravens and Lamar Jackson
“Why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake?” the philosopher Aubrey Graham once said. “You know I love to go there.” That is basically where the Ravens and Lamar Jackson are after their all-too-public spat at the end of the season. Not so long ago, Lamar and the Ravens were #relationshipgoals. But a lot has changed.
Lamar Jackson, with help from his mother, who works as his business manager, is negotiating his massive contract extension without an agent, which is like throwing a $200 million wedding without a wedding planner—it can get dicey when everything is going through the mother-in-law. Jackson injured his knee toward the end of the season, and not only did he not play for Baltimore down the stretch, but he didn’t even attend the playoff game, supposedly because of swelling. I’m old enough to remember Jeremy Shockey being criticized for watching the Giants win the Super Bowl in a luxury suite instead of on the field. And Baltimore’s starting QB didn’t even come to the game! In fact, the week before that game, Jackson posted a quote to his Instagram story that said, “When you have something good, you don’t play with it” with a praying hands emoji.
Jackson also apparently felt enough public pressure around him not suiting up for the Ravens that he tweeted out the status of his knee injury—which you don’t see happen very often! The implication here is there was some disagreement on whether Lamar was healthy enough to play on his injured knee—which might not even be a medical disagreement as much as a philosophical one about how much he should risk his health without his future earnings secured.
Perhaps realizing that the relationship was spiraling, Ravens coach John Harbaugh started trying to bring the temperature down in his postseason press conference.
“100 percent, 200 percent,” Harbaugh said when he was asked if he wanted Jackson back. “There’s no question about it. Lamar Jackson is our quarterback; he’s been our quarterback. Everything we’ve done in terms of building our offense and building our team, how we think in terms of [bringing in] people and putting people around him, is based on this incredible young man, his talent, his ability, and his competitiveness.”
The Ravens and Harbaugh are saying all the right things—this is definitely the vibe of a man who is trying to win someone back. But words don’t mean much at this point. We got the save the date for this wedding a long time ago. It’s time to see some invitations—and playing on the franchise tag does not count!
If He Cheated With You, He’ll Cheat on You
Green Bay Packers and Aaron Rodgers
San Francisco 49ers and Trey Lance (and Brock Purdy)
Rodgers got his start in the NFL by being taken in the first round, waiting three years on the bench, then usurping the franchise legend. It seems that is exactly how Rodgers will go out too if the Packers choose (Jordan) Love and go with a younger man this offseason. Perhaps Rodgers will appreciate the full circle–ness while he’s stuck in his darkness retreat.
And yet the 49ers are even messier. They traded up to draft Trey Lance when Jimmy Garoppolo was still on the roster, and they had a weird throuple thing going on for a while. Then, Lance and Garoppolo got hurt in 2022, so everyone’s infatuated with Brock Purdy now. Lance can be frustrated that he might have to compete with Mr. Irrelevant—the NFL version of the guy you’re not supposed to worry about—but how upset can Lance be that the 49ers found another man when that’s who he was to begin with?
Started Getting Breakfast With the Booty Call and Now They Are Dating
Washington Commanders and Sam Howell (and Carson Wentz and Taylor Heinicke)
Atlanta Falcons and Desmond Ridder
Houston Texans and Davis Mills
Ridder and Mills were both taken in the third round, in 2021 and 2022, respectively, while Howell was drafted in the fifth round last year. None of these dudes were expected to be anything serious. They were just short-term guys who could sling it. Their teams probably didn’t even give them a last name in their contacts. The Commanders just had Sam in their phone as “Sam Hinge.”
Now, these are turning into situationships. Both Howell and Ridder ended 2022 as the starting QBs for their respective teams, and they very well could remain in those roles to open the 2023 season. That doesn’t mean either team is interested in a serious relationship. It just means they will start bringing each other as a plus-one to weddings, and Washington has updated Sam’s contact to “Sam Howell.”
The Texans already did this with Mills last year because they thought he was hot, but it turns out he was just tall (and when they say he was good at necking, they’re not talking about making out).
The Spark Is Gone
New York Jets and Zach Wilson
The Jets are better off with other quarterbacks. Like, literally any quarterback other than Wilson has done a better job with this offense. Joe Flacco and Mike White each performed better than Wilson, the no. 2 pick in 2021. Literally anyone else was able to get the crowd screaming. Now, the Jets, turned off by their young star, will turn to an older, more experienced veteran to fulfill their fantasies. Surely Zach Wilson understands that impulse.
Ann From Arrested Development
Tennessee Titans and Ryan Tannehill
Him?
This Was a Mistake
Indianapolis Colts and Matt Ryan
New Orleans Saints and Andy Dalton (and Jameis Winston and Taysom Hill)
The Colts are desperate at this point. Their dream partner, Andrew Luck, left them four years ago—and since then, the Colts have shuffled through five different quarterbacks in five seasons. It’s time for Indy to settle down.
When Sean Payton left the Saints, he told them, “It’s not you, it’s me.” He took one year off and then went to Denver after Russell Wilson was a disaster. Now, the Saints are wondering if it was, in fact, them. “Are we the baddies?”
Already Moved Out
Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Tom Brady
Las Vegas Raiders and Derek Carr
Not a great offseason for the pirates. Tom Brady retired this offseason after trying to leave Tampa for Miami last offseason. The Raiders and Carr had a far uglier breakup: The Raiders told Carr not to come back to the facility late in the season, Carr visited New Orleans earlier this month to make the Raiders jealous, and then the Raiders cut him on Valentine’s Day. It’s brutal out here!
40-Year-Old Virgin
Carolina Panthers and … no one?
Carolina, which has only Matt Corral and Jacob Eason under contract for 2023, is your friend who doesn’t know how to talk to women. He’s not sure whether to make eye contact or not. He’s Steve Carell in The 40-Year-Old Virgin talking about bags of sand. Can the NFL invent its own SuperSwipe?
