Every movie and television show has their heroes and villains, their protagonists and antagonists. After centuries of storytelling, we know what the general arcs of these two archetypes will be: who will come out on top, who’ll lose, who’ll reassure us that the world is full of justice and meaning. These two sides of the coin serve an important purpose—but, come on, between us … they can get pretty boring, right?
Somewhere in the middle of those two poles lies a character who’s often much more exciting, more thrilling, more reflective of the complex, ridiculous world we live in. This character can be rude while also being funny; annoying while also appealing; idiotic while also entrancing; interesting and frustrating and entertaining and low stakes, all in ways that a hero or a villain rarely is. This character is the jerk, and jerks are glorious.
There’s nothing quite like a character you love to hate. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Jerks Week at The Ringer. Vote for your favorite ones in the Best Pop Culture Jerks Bracket, and check back throughout the week for a selection of stories on one of the most underrated archetypes.
Because it’s high time we pay homage to an archetype with such a deep, rich, absurd history (and because it’s the end of summer and we’re a few weeks removed from Barbenheimer and there just isn’t that much to talk about right now), for the next week The Ringer will host a tournament of the greatest jerks in pop culture. (We’re honestly also doing this because jerk is just a funny word to say. Try it. “Jerk.” Isn’t that wonderful?) It shall be a celebration of the most beloved pains in the ass ever committed to film, and by Saturday, we—and you, the voter—will have crowned a top jerk.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Jerk Store is open—and we’re never running out.
Before we get to the polls, there are a few important things to go over:
- “Jerk” has evolved into being a pretty blanket term over the years, but we’re sticking to a very strict definition: a nuisance who, despite your best efforts, you can’t help but find entertaining. For a deeper breakdown of what a jerk is and isn’t, please refer to this explainer of the gradations of assholery.
- This is a bracket of pop culture jerks. Therefore, the only real people who were considered are reality stars (who, let’s admit it, are basically playing characters). So before you ask, that’s why [insert real person who sucks] isn’t in the tournament.
With those rules in mind, the Ringer staff was asked to compile their own personal character rankings. From those results, seeding was calculated from 1 to 64; characters were then placed in the bracket accordingly, without any classifications in mind. There were some tough decisions that had to be made—some moments when we ourselves had to be jerks. The Ringer has done many brackets over time, and I feel confident in saying that the jerk bubble was the strongest bubble we’ve ever had. I’d like to formally apologize to the many classic jerks who just missed the cut: the dog from Duck Hunt, Baby Billy Freeman from The Righteous Gemstones, Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate, Mr. Wickham from Pride & Prejudice, Paul Hollywood from The Great British Bake Off, Ross Geller from Friends, Ashton Kutcher from Punk’d, the Hamburglar from McDonald’s, Dr. Will Kirby from Big Brother, Howard Hamlin from Better Call Saul, the Hound from Game of Thrones, Dennis Nedry from Jurassic Park, Buzz McCallister from Home Alone, Hera from The Iliad, Helen Harris III from Bridesmaids, and the Lorax from The Lorax. You are all good jerks.
But it’s time to talk about the great jerks. For each round, you can vote here on the website, on X, and on Instagram every day until 6 p.m. ET, through Friday. Voting will go as follows:
Monday: Round of 64
Tuesday: Round of 32
Wednesday: Sweet 16
Thursday a.m.: Elite Eight
Thursday p.m.: Final Four
Friday: Championship
Saturday: Winner revealed
Now let’s get to the regions.
The Waterbury Open
Most Intriguing Matchup: (6) Steve Stifler, American Pie vs. (11) Sack Lodge, Wedding Crashers
Stifler and Sack are basically the same character, just at different points in their lives. Sack is Stifler after business school. Stifler is Sack before his lacrosse career fizzled out. Both characters are dumb idiots you have to put up with, both are stunted bros who lash out at others to hide their lack of emotional and literal intelligence, and both have consumed fluids that made them throw up a bunch. This oughta be an interesting face-off.
Most Intriguing Matchup, Part 2: (7) Roger Sterling, Mad Men vs. (10) Bill Lumbergh, Office Space
Two bosses, two very different kinds of jerks. Roger is an affable character whose jerkdom stems from his inability to take anything seriously. Bill Lumbergh’s jerkitude is much more innate, as much a part of his essence as the glasses and French cuffs. Roger is the kind of jerk you’d wanna get a beer (or unlimited raw oysters and martinis) with; Bill Lumbergh is the kind of jerk who’s hilarious so long as his jerkiness isn’t being directed at you. Pick your poison.
Character Who Got Screwed: (1) Shooter McGavin, Happy Gilmore
Shooter comes into this week as the no. 1 overall seed, with a pristine résumé. But the runner-up of the 1996 Tour Championship doesn’t exactly have a cakewalk ahead of him. First there’s Caillou, who might be a 16-seed but is also the biggest jerk in kids programming history. Further down the road lie heavy-hitting jerks like Iceman, Bugs Bunny, and Draco Malfoy. It’s going to take a hell of a run for Mr. McGavin; if he’s not lucky, he’ll be watching the Final Four from a Red Lobster.
The Long Shot: (13) Gollum, The Lord of the Rings
I’ll be honest: I’m really rooting for this. Gollum is an incredibly underrated jerk. He has to go through Top Gun’s Iceman—perhaps the most quintessential jerk of the 1980s—and after that a few characters who are potentially even more iconic, but come on. This jerk jumped into a pit of fire because he was so obsessed with a piece of jewelry—can’t we throw him a bone?
The Rest of the Matchups
Hill Valley High
Most Intriguing Matchup: (5) Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off vs. (12) Steff McKee, Pretty in Pink
A true battle of the ’80s, and also a face-off between the two best-dressed characters in the bracket. Ferris is one of our foremost examples of the rare protagonist jerk, which likely gives him the edge. But you can’t count out Steff—that dude is a classic jerk you love to hate. He wore linen suits to biology class.
Character Who Got Screwed: (6) Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down
Danny McBride is a jerk connoisseur. He’s made a career out of creating and playing jerks, and Kenny Powers is his greatest achievement in the field. He oughta have some legs in this tournament—but at the same time, it’s just as easy to imagine him getting chopped down early. Spencer Pratt—sort of the Kenny Powers of MTV reality television—stands in his way in the first round, and should Kenny survive that, he’ll likely be staring down Ron Friggin’ Burgundy. It’s hard out here for a jerk.
The Long Shot: (10) Vegeta, Dragon Ball Z
I’m going to kick it to my colleague Aric Jenkins, who has a lot of stock in Vegeta:
Don’t let the 10-seed fool you. Vegeta is an all-time-great jerk in not only television, but also pop culture at large. Vegeta and his rivalry with Goku are legendary, and I’m betting that the beloved antihero will go full Super Saiyan and take down every competitor in his region. The Grinch might seem like a stern first test, but Vegeta will Galick Gun that green bozo out of here. (We’ve all seen his intense determination to match Kakarot despite years of defeat.) Vegeta has paid his dues—and put in the work in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber—and the rest of the bracket should be very afraid.
A Double-Digit Feeding Frenzy?
In the history of Ringer Brackets™, there have been only two double-digit seeds to advance to the Final Four: Gordon Ramsay (a 10-seed) and Johnny Bananas (an 11-seed) both made it to the semifinal of our Best Reality TV Character Bracket. (Actually, Gordon Ramsay is also a 10-seed in this bracket; we may have under-seeded him once again.) And aside from those two, the lowest seed to go that far was a 6-seed: Tony Hawk from Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater in the Best Video Game Character Bracket.
This is all to say that I think some jerks can make history this week. Never before has a tournament felt so wide open. Chef Ramsay lying in wait as a 10-seed has already been mentioned, but dangerous double-digit seeds are all over this bracket. In this region alone there are the aforementioned Vegeta and Spencer Pratt, Stewy from Succession, and Ben Affleck’s Fred O’Bannion from Dazed and Confused. This jerk competition is thick, and that should lead to some pretty crooked numbers as it goes on. It feels like anything is possible.
The Rest of the Matchups
Tom’s Restaurant
Most Intriguing Matchup: (4) Lucille Bluth, Arrested Development vs. (13) Richie Jerimovich, The Bear
This is really just a test of the strength of recency bias. Lucille Bluth should probably win—there’s a reason she’s a 4-seed—but no TV character has had a better 2023 than Richie. His arc was deepened in Season 2 of The Bear (he wears suits now), and he was the center of the best episode of television this year and probably the best scene of television this year (blaring Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” in his car while also yelling at fellow drivers). Who doesn’t love to see a jerk have a moment of triumph?
But … Lucille is a heavy hitter. Now it’s time to see whether your memory of her is strong enough to defeat your favorite new cousin.
Character Who Got Screwed: (12) Joey Donner, 10 Things I Hate About You
Joey Donner is the jerk proudly representing the glorious run of teen movies in the late ’90s. He’s such a perfect jerk: a true himbo, and the only jerk in this bracket to cry about his nasal spray ad after he gets punched in the nose by a girl. And so how did The Ringer honor Joey? By matching him up against NEWMAN. That’s just unfair. Give Joey Donner his flowers today because I’m not sure he’s gonna be around by tomorrow.
A Date With Destiny?
Allow me to take you into the Jerk Bracket Selection Committee room: Yes, we kinda rigged things so that George Costanza and Larry David ended up in the same region. (Putting Newman in this region as well was more of a happy accident.) It just felt like these two jerks, who share so much DNA—in many ways, George is a manifestation of Larry—should have it out before the Final Four. Now the only question is: Will they both make it far enough to have that face-off? That lies in your hands.
The Long Shot: (8) Jaime Lannister, Game of Thrones (Seasons 1 and 2 Only)
One of the best parts of Game of Thrones was the evolution of Jaime Lannister, who went from being downright hateable to losing a hand to becoming one of the show’s most sympathetic and compelling characters. But before all that happened, boy, he was an excellent jerk. Remember how he used to ride around in that fancy cloak? And that hair? Remember how he pushed a kid out of a window?! That was a real jerk move.
In Seasons 1 and 2, Jaime Lannister was the best jerk on a show full of bad people. His relatively low volume explains his seeding, but now that the tournament has begun, there’s no telling how far he might go. By tomorrow, George Costanza might have a spear through his leg.
The Rest of the Matchups
Bikini Bottom
Most Intriguing Matchup: (2) Han Solo, Star Wars vs. (15) Gaston, Beauty and the Beast
It’s not that I think this one’s gonna be close. I just picked it so I could point out that Han Solo and Gaston have weirdly similar wardrobes.
Character Who Got Screwed: (11) Jamie Tartt, Ted Lasso
Jamie Tartt is one of the best jerks of the 2020s (even if the 2020s have been somewhat low on good jerks so far). He’s a perfect encapsulation of the word: annoying and ridiculous, yet funny and begrudgingly lovable and undeniable. You almost have to wonder whether he would’ve been seeded more favorably if Ted Lasso hadn’t fallen off a cliff this year. Instead, he’s an 11-seed facing off against Jonah Ryan, one of the greatest, foulest jerks in the history of jerks. Jonah is going to devour Jamie Tartt until he’s shitting soccer balls, son.
The Long Shot: (10) Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Yeah, so, Bill Murray—one of our foremost portrayers of jerks—as a 10-seed feels somewhat disrespectful. Everyone from Han Solo to Cartman to Squidward—and Angelica Pickles in the first round, by the way—is standing in front of Phil Connors, but you absolutely should not underestimate him.
A Repeat of Destruction?
I don’t know how invested you are in the mythology of Ringer Brackets™, but there are a couple of repeat contestants in the Bikini Bottom region who have a history of sowing chaos that dates back to the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic. First, there’s Cartman, who appeared in our Best TV Characters of the Century Bracket as a 15-seed and proceeded to disrupt all semblance of order. Cartman destroyed 2-seed Fleabag in Round 1 and then walloped Tim Riggins in the round of 32—it took until the Sweet 16 for Breaking Bad’s Jesse Pinkman to end Cartman’s reign of terror. And then there’s Gob Bluth, a rascal who inspired another rascal to program an army of bots and rig the vote in Gob’s favor in the same tournament. It was perhaps the most obvious case of cheating in bracket history: with most matchups receiving fewer than 100,000 votes total, Gob himself racked up more than 210,000 votes. Gob was ignominiously disqualified, cast off in shame in favor of Ron Swanson.
Now, both of these agents of chaos have returned, in a competition that’ll ostensibly reward agents of chaos. Will Cartman continue to blaze through seemingly more deserving competitors? Will the infamous Gob Bluth hacker emerge from the shadows to once again support his favorite magician? Will copycats attempt to follow in his footsteps?
We’re clearly tempting fate by granting Cartman and Gob eligibility. And honestly, I’d be lying if I said part of me didn’t want to see one of these characters light the whole bracket on fire.
The Rest of the Matchups
Remember, voting closes at 6 p.m. ET. Come back tomorrow for a breakdown of the round of 32.
An earlier version of this piece misspelled Helga Pataki’s name.
