The Best Pop Culture Jerks Bracket: The Elite Eight
After some stiff competition, eight truly odious jerks remain. Things are about to get very interesting.The Best Pop Culture Jerks Bracket: The Elite Eight
After some stiff competition, eight truly odious jerks remain. Things are about to get very interesting.
“Jerk” can be a pretty blanket term. It’s been directed at a variety of different archetypes, its meaning has changed over time, and the large “jerk” umbrella contains many subsets. Those facts are why trimming down the field of the Jerk Bracket to 64 characters was so difficult and why the competition itself has been so interesting. (Who hasn’t had a fever dream starring Tom “Iceman” Kazansky and Gollum?) But as the week goes on and more and more contestants are dispatched from the proceedings, it’s becoming clear that you mostly prefer one certain type of jerk.
Most of the jerks who make up the Elite Eight—all of whom are true legends in their field—are blustering, vulgar, hilariously ridiculous men: jerks who speak first and think later, jerks who fire people on a whim, jerks who try to assert themselves over others before invariably falling on their faces. This is the kind of jerk you clearly love (or hate?) the most. Just look at the field:
There’s nothing quite like a character you love to hate. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Jerks Week at The Ringer. Vote for your favorite ones in the Best Pop Culture Jerks Bracket, and check back throughout the week for a selection of stories on one of the most underrated archetypes.
Shooter McGavin, Biff Tannen, Kenny Powers, Larry David, Cartman, Roman Roy—just a murderers’ row of obscene behavior. Though, it’s also worth noting that these are some of the most iconic characters in modern pop culture. That just goes to show you how magical a good jerk can be.
Now it’s time to find out which four of these eight all-star jerks stand above the others. As a reminder, the timing for these polls and the Final Four is a bit different: Voting on the Elite Eight will close at 1 p.m. PT on Thursday; voting on the Final Four will then open and continue until 6 p.m. As always, you can vote right here, on Twitter, and on Instagram.
The Waterbury Open
(1) Shooter McGavin, Happy Gilmore vs. (10) Bill Lumbergh, Office Space
Mr. TPS Reports has truly wreaked havoc on the Jerks Bracket. The last remaining double-digit seed, Bill Lumbergh, has taken down such luminous jerks as Roger Sterling, Draco Malfoy, and now Steve Stifler, and he’s done it relatively easily: Across those three matchups, Lumbergh has pulled in 59 percent of votes.
But none of Lumbergh’s previous opponents have what his next opponent has. None of them have told a bunch of people to “go back to [their] shanties”; none of them have hired a man to run over a rival with a Volkswagen; none of them have eaten shit for breakfast. Shooter McGavin stands in the way now. It might be even more unlikely for Bill Lumbergh to make it to the Final Four than for Happy Gilmore to make that putt in the Tour Championship.
Hill Valley High
(1) Biff Tannen, Back to the Future vs. (6) Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down
Let’s first pour one out for Veep’s Selina Meyer, whom Kenny Powers dispatched with 66 percent of the vote. Selina was the last remaining lady jerk, a true pioneer in a mostly male-dominated field. I bet she’d come up with some pretty foul names for Kenny.
And Kenny would deserve every last one of them. He’s been a true jerk this week, dismantling opponents and proving to The Ringer’s selection committee that he was grossly under-seeded. Meeting him from the other side of Hill Valley High is Biff Tannen, who’s proved that he was correctly seeded. It’s actually pretty fitting: Biff and Kenny feel like kindred spirits. Between Biff’s casino and Kenny’s baked potato mall kiosk, they clearly have the same horrendously tacky taste. Now we just have to see who has more fixins.
Tom’s Restaurant
(1) George Costanza, Seinfeld vs. (2) Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm
The face-off that was foretold hath finally arrived. The Tom’s Restaurant region couldn’t have ended up any other way. It’s George versus Larry: invention versus creator. I don’t pity anyone who has to choose between these two, because they’re basically two sides of the same coin, no matter how much that pains Larry. Do you choose the jerk who invented the concept of the jerk store, or do you choose the jerk who invented the jerk who invented the concept of the jerk store? Vote wisely—whoever advances out of this matchup will have an inside track to the title.
Bikini Bottom
(5) Cartman, South Park vs. (3) Roman Roy, Succession
The most chaotic region in the Jerk Bracket has spit out two immature ingrates who are so offensive that they’ve somehow become endearing. Seriously, is Roman not just Eric Cartman in human form? Couldn’t you see him serving a guy chili made out of his parents? And to flip it around, couldn’t you see Cartman getting a fascist elected as president as a bit? These two were made for each other, and you must respect their authority as jerks. But of course, only one can advance …