House of the Dragon is back, and the Dance of the Dragons is underway. The Targaryen war of succession will come down to control—who can control their impulses, their sycophants, and, yes, their dragons. With each passing episode, The Ringer will examine how Westeros’s key players are aligning their pieces on the board. As the saying goes, chaos can be a ladder. Welcome to the House of the Dragon power rankings.
1. Ser Criston Cole
It brings me no pleasure to place Criston Cole in the top spot, but really, what other choice was there? This week, Criston orchestrated an assassination attempt on Rhaenyra Targaryen, ordering Arryk Cargyll to travel to Dragonstone and sneak into the castle by pretending to be his identical twin, Erryk. The attack might’ve failed, but Criston deserves points for creativity. Then there’s the matter of his promotion: For taking decisive action in the midst of King Aegon II Targaryen’s grief, Criston was named the new hand of the king. (Tough beat for Otto Hightower, whom we’ll get to shortly.) As Aegon puts it, he wants a hand who will be a “steel fist,” and Criston certainly fits the bill.
Long term, I’m not sure this will work out well for Criston: The king’s second-in-command might seem like an enviable position, but most characters suffer through the responsibilities that come with it. (As the smallfolk say, “The king eats, and the hand takes the shit.”) But between the newfound trust that Aegon has placed in him and his ongoing tryst with Alicent, there’s no escaping that Criston is riding a hot streak. By the end of the episode, he’s the hand of the king ... and still giving the D to the Dowager Queen.
2. Larys Strong
Westeros’s preeminent foot enthusiast had limited screen time, but he made it count. Larys was tasked with interrogating the gold cloak responsible for killing young Jaehaerys Targaryen, and he didn’t need to lay a finger on the guy to get the answers he sought—namely, that his accomplice was one of the Red Keep’s ratcatchers. Perhaps Larys’s reputation for extracting answers from people (read: torture) precedes him. In any case, he continues ingratiating himself with those in power while wielding plenty of his own from the shadows.
3. Mysaria
It was a potentially momentous week for the character known as the White Worm. When Daemon Targaryen fled Dragonstone, Mysaria feared she would be kept prisoner, even though she had provided the intel he needed for the Red Keep murder plot. Instead, Rhaenyra honors her husband’s words after recognizing Mysaria as the woman Daemon once claimed he intended to marry and have children with. Later, on her way to board a ship bound for Essos, Mysaria spots Arryk heading toward the castle. “A moment!” she shouts to the guard escorting her. That’s the last we see of Mysaria this week, but considering how quickly Erryk came to Rhaenyra’s aid, I wouldn’t be surprised if she helped save the queen’s life. Assuming she’s still on Dragonstone, Mysaria will be in Rhaenyra’s good graces and could yet have a major role to play this season.
4. Aemond Targaryen
Aemond’s stock remains high, if only because he avoided being killed in the Season 2 premiere. We now know why Aemond wasn’t at the Red Keep the night of the attack: He was hanging out at a brothel. (If there’s one thing that’s a guarantee in the Game of Thrones universe, it’s that a highborn loves to spend his downtime in the company of others.) “In truth, I am proud,” Aemond says, telling his paramour about Daemon’s attack. “When he considers me such a foe and that he seeks to murder me in my bed, he’s afraid of me.”
But while Aemond still has plenty of youthful bluster, we also see a softer side to him in this episode. For one, he rests in a fetal position in the arms of his escort, who comforts him like the maternal figure he’s never had. (No offense, Alicent.) He also confesses his regret over what happened to Luke at the end of Season 1; he never intended to kill his nephew and instigate a civil war. “I would remind you only that when princes lose their temper, it is often others who suffer,” the courtesan responds. One would hope that Aemond heeds his lover’s words, but considering the Targaryen’s fiery reputation, that’s nothing more than wishful thinking on my part.
5. Alicent Hightower
That Alicent is ranked this high the week after her grandson was murdered speaks to how many characters in House of the Dragon are fucking miserable. Besides, there were some potential positives for the Dowager Queen. Otto may be out as hand of the king, but it could prove to be just as advantageous for her that Criston has taken over the role. Otto clearly respects his daughter, but at the end of the day, he’s been the one calling the shots. With Criston as her secret lover, Alicent could wield even more influence over King Aegon without her son being aware of it. If Larys remains in her corner—provided she keeps showing off those feet—Alicent’s got both brawns and brains at her disposal.
6. Tyland Lannister
Now that his mortal enemy—a 6-year-old prince with a short attention span—is no longer around to interrupt Small Council meetings, Tyland can resume his duties as master of coin in peace. Congrats to Team Green’s most boring and uncharismatic ally.
7. King Aegon II Targaryen
As you’d expect, Aegon did not take his son’s death well. The king has multiple temper tantrums, hurling and smashing objects throughout the Red Keep before making baseless accusations that members of the Small Council are in cahoots with Daemon. (RIP to Viserys’s immaculate diorama of old Valyria, which was not spared from Aegon’s wrath.) When the gold cloak responsible for killing Jaehaerys is apprehended, Aegon wastes little time bashing his head in. And upon learning that a ratcatcher was an accomplice, Aegon has every ratcatcher employed at the Red Keep hanged and strung up outside the castle.
While the circumstances are different, it’s hard not to draw some parallels between Aegon’s violent outbursts and the petulant behavior of another sadistic boy king, Joffrey Baratheon. At the same time, Aegon does elicit some sympathy. His son was killed, after all, and when Alicent spots Aegon crying alone at the end of the episode, she doesn’t go to comfort him; instead, she goes back to her room and gets dicked down by Criston. Aegon could really use some better role models in his life—or at the very least, a hug.
8. Rhaenys Targaryen and Corlys Velaryon
A quiet week for the Queen Who Never Was, who appears in only a handful of scenes. In fact, Rhaenys’s most notable contribution is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment. When Rhaenyra’s Small Council comes together after learning of Jaehaerys’s death, Rhaenys turns her gaze toward Daemon. Upon coming to the realization that he’s the one responsible for the attack, she doesn’t need to say anything: That death glare is as ferocious as any dragon’s flames. In such trying times, Rhaenyra could use a reliable, steady hand in her corner; you’d be hard-pressed to find a better candidate than Rhaenys. Corlys, meanwhile, briefly appears in a state of postcoital bliss alongside Rhaenys. Congrats on the sex, you two—and for having the healthiest relationship of any couple in the series.
9. Daemon Targaryen
Daemon learned the hard way that outsourcing work doesn’t always lead to the desired outcome. Instead of Aemond, who was supposed to be killed in retaliation for Luke’s death, poor little Jaehaerys was the latest victim of the Targaryen civil war. Naturally, Daemon tries to downplay his culpability after being confronted by Rhaenyra: The assassins didn’t follow the assignment! But the problem isn’t really that the wrong Targaryen was killed: It’s that Daemon prefers to play hero ball rather than be a team player. Daemon tries reassuring Rhaenyra that he’s served her faithfully. “Have you?” she snipes back. “Or have you used me as a tool with which to grasp at your stolen inheritance?” It’s such a sick burn that Daemon flies off to parts unknown. He’ll be back, but whether he’ll prove to be helpful or a hindrance remains up in the air.
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10. Rhaenyra Targaryen
Where to begin? Poor Rhaenyra was blamed for Jaehaerys’s death, and even her Small Council has a hard time believing she wasn’t responsible. Then she’s on the receiving end of an assassination attempt that’s narrowly thwarted by the would-be killer’s twin brother. If there’s a bright spot for Rhaenyra—other than, you know, not being killed—it’s that she might’ve gained a valuable ally in Mysaria. Assuming that Mysaria stays on Dragonstone, her spy ring and knowledge of King’s Landing’s inner workings would be an incredible asset for Team Black. Suffice it to say, Rhaenyra will need all the help she can get. This war isn’t just about the power of dragons: The power of public perception matters, too. And right now, the realm believes her to be Rhaenyra the Monstrous.
11. Otto Hightower
The high lord of passive-aggressiveness was in fine form this week. Otto barely mourned the death of his grandson before scheming about how to use Jaehaerys to further the cause of Team Green. The solution: have an open-casket funeral procession through the streets of King’s Landing so that word can spread about Rhaenyra’s supposed barbarity. But as shrewd of a political operator as Otto is, he can’t resist speaking his mind at a sensitive time. After finding out that Aegon has hanged all the ratcatchers, Otto chastises the king for upsetting the smallfolk. “With your child’s blood, we bought their approval,” he says. “With your mother’s tears, we made a bitter sacrifice against the deprivations to come. And you’ve thrown it away.”
Hard to argue with Otto there, but he makes the fatal mistake of insulting the one person who can take away his power. And so, for the second time in two seasons, Otto is removed as hand of the king. Alicent will surely keep pulling the strings behind the scenes, but Otto is no longer in the driver’s seat. “You will regret this,” Otto tells Aegon, just as the former hand will regret throwing shade in the throes of familial grief.
12. Helaena Targaryen
A brutal start to the season for the kindest, quirkiest Targaryen in the realm. If witnessing the slaughter of her child wasn’t terrible enough, Helaena is forced to make a public spectacle of her grief in the funeral procession. As Alicent explains, displaying such vulnerability will allow the smallfolk to feel closer to the crown. “I don’t want them closer, I don’t know them,” Helaena responds, speaking like a true introvert. What’s even more distressing is that nobody bothers to console the queen: Alicent is more concerned about her daughter walking in on [Borat voice] sexy time with Criston, while Aegon doesn’t show an ounce of affection toward his sister-wife. The Targaryen civil war won’t end well for anyone, but I hope House of the Dragon spares poor, sweet Helaena from further torment. Then again …
13. Erryk Cargyll and Arryk Cargyll
It’s been an absolute headache trying to keep track of the Cargyll twins. Sure, they chose opposite sides of the Targaryen conflict, but their names are nearly phonetically identical—to say nothing of the fact that they LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME. (I actually thought the “Erics” were played by the same actor; alas, real-life twins Elliott and Luke Tittensor are a spitting image of each other.) Sadly, the intertwined arcs of the Cargyll twins end in tragedy: When Arryk goes on a rogue mission to Dragonstone to kill Rhaenyra, Erryk must stop him. The fight is confusing as hell, but in the end, Arryk is slain, and Erryk puts himself to the sword out of remorse. Despite their ideological differences, the twins had an intimate bond. They even had a saying:
You are with me, I am with you
Always one, but born as two
As above sits the stars and below lies the sea
I give you you, and you give me me.
Oh wait, sorry, that’s The Acolyte.
14. Blood and Cheese, Expired
I triple-checked, and yes, this is what Jaehaerys’s killers are called in the Fire & Blood source text. (Rhaenyra, Rhaenys, Daemon, Luke, Blood, Cheese … George R.R. Martin really has a way with names.) The duo committed this atrocious act for a big payday, but here’s the thing: What use is a buttload of gold if you won’t be around to spend it? By the end of the episode, both characters get their comeuppance—spare a thought for all the innocent ratcatchers caught in the crossfire—and the Red Keep suddenly has a few job openings. Hazards of the job: rats, petty tyrants, and dragons. (Here’s hoping Team Green offers a good life insurance policy.)
15. Jaehaerys Targaryen
Once again, the Targaryen civil war has led to the death of an innocent child, as little Jaehaerys is paraded through the streets of King’s Landing for all to see. I feared the worst when the wagon carrying the young prince’s body (head sewn back on) got stuck on some rocks—with enough force, what if the head fell off and went rolling down the streets like an orange? Thankfully, even House of the Dragon isn’t that sadistic. Jaehaerys didn’t deserve such a horrible fate, but at least his suffering is over. The same can’t be said for the rest of the Targaryens.
