You’re probably familiar with the concept of feel-good movies: the tried-and-true serotonin boosters that can improve your mood in the midst of a bad day, week, or, God forbid, month. (Shout out to my current go-to, Everybody Wants Some!!, a coming-of-age comedy about college baseball players getting laid that somehow manages to be … extremely wholesome?) There are times, however, when the true sickos of the world (read: me) crave something a little different: a film that traffics in terrible vibes and threatens to drag your disposition down with it.
One of the most striking recent examples of this phenomenon is Speak No Evil, a Danish psychological thriller about a couple and their young daughter who hit it off with another couple they meet on vacation. The family is then invited to spend a holiday weekend with their new friends, who test their guests’ resolve through increasingly uncomfortable situations. Speak No Evil is, in essence, a horror movie about how social niceties and the fear of confrontation can be our undoing—all building up to an ending that’s one of the bleakest things I’ve ever seen. I was depressed for hours after finishing Speak No Evil, which is the highest compliment I can give this kind of movie.
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Now, with an Americanized Speak No Evil set for release this week—starring James McAvoy, Mackenzie Davis, and Scoot McNairy—I got to thinking about the movies we love because they make us feel like shit. In that spirit, I present the 21st-Century Bad Vibes Movie Canon: a celebration of the best feel-bad cinematic experiences the past 24 years have to offer. (Basically, if you, like me, consider Zodiac a comfort watch, this list was made for you.)
Before we get to the inductees, let’s go over the ground rules: In addition to featuring only movies released in the 21st century, I’ve limited each director to one entry; otherwise, David Fincher’s fingerprints would be all over this blog. The Bad Vibes Movie Canon is also, by no means, all-encompassing: I’ve capped the list at 20 (the word count on this bad boy was already reaching Austin Gayle levels), but that doesn’t mean there aren’t more films worthy of inclusion. As for the order of the movies listed, I wish I could say there was some methodology involved, but no, my brain exists in a perpetual state of chaos. (As you can tell from, well, the existence of this blog.) Last, in order to give these movies their flowers, we’ll have to spoil some plot points. Let’s dive into the canon.
The Wailing (2016)
Why it’s included: I’m a sucker for anything that captures the energy of peak Twin Peaks, and The Wailing fits the bill. The South Korean horror movie vacillates between being goofy and terrifying, sometimes within the same scene, as dim-witted cops in a small village find themselves at the center of a strange, potentially supernatural killing spree. The only viable suspect is a mysterious Japanese hermit (played by Jun Kunimura) who lives on the outskirts of the village, but viewers are left to wonder whether he’s actually nefarious, or whether the community’s collective xenophobia is at play. (The dynamic between the Korean villagers and the Japanese stranger recalls the historical tension between Japan and Korea.) But what takes The Wailing to another level is when whatever is afflicting the village makes it to the home of Sergeant Jong-goo (Kwak Do-won). His young daughter, Hyo-jin (Kim Hwan-hee), appears to become possessed, and the family enlists the services of a shaman, launching this movie into a stretch that’s essentially The Exorcist: Shaman Edition. It fucking rips.
Worst vibe moment: By the end of The Wailing, we discover that (a) the Japanese stranger really was responsible for the evil happenings in the village and (b) the shaman is in cahoots with him. Unfortunately, that means Hyo-jin doesn’t just remain possessed after the exorcism: She murders her mother and grandmother before Jong-goo can do anything to stop it. Then, Jong-gu starts wailing (it’s right there in the title) as his entire world shatters. You’ll want to do the same after watching the movie; I’ve revisited it four times in six years. (I’m fine, why do you ask?)
The Empty Man (2020)
Why it’s included: You have to forgive Disney for not knowing what to do with The Empty Man after acquiring 20th Century Fox, the studio that already had it on the books. An R-rated, 137-minute cosmic horror film from a first-time director does not make for an easy sell, so The Empty Man was dumped into theaters during the dog days of the pandemic, when it appeared destined to fade into obscurity. Thankfully, the internet has formed a cult of Empty Man—I am one of its loyal followers—and if you’re a true horror aficionado, it’s easy to understand why. The movie concerns a former detective, James Lasombra (James Badge Dale), who’s investigating the mysterious disappearance of his neighbor’s teenage daughter. But while The Empty Man has the trappings of a supernatural procedural, what makes the film so unsettling is how it feels like a variety pack of practically every horror subgenre—sprinkling in elements of J-horror, Lovecraftian terror, slasher tropes, creepy cults, and whatever the hell you want to call this scene in the woods. I’m not even sure the ending makes sense, but by that point, I was too discombobulated to care. The Empty Man is an impressively deranged directorial debut, and one of the more ambitious studio films in recent memory.
Worst vibe moment: Before we get to Lasombra’s investigation, The Empty Man opens with a roughly 20-minute prologue that follows a group of hikers in Bhutan. One of the members of the party, Paul (Aaron Poole), falls into a crevice and comes face-to-face with a massive, humanlike skeleton that has some kind of psychological hold over him. From there, the group takes shelter in a remote cabin, where Paul lies in a vegetative state while his friends figure out how to get to safety. Naturally, everyone is doomed: A sinister presence has taken over Paul, who whispers something in his girlfriend’s ear that compels her to stab her friends to death before jumping off a cliff. As a self-contained horror story, The Empty Man’s prologue is pure nightmare fuel—and a really tough beat for Bhutan’s tourism board.
Prisoners (2013)
Why it’s included: There are several Denis Villeneuve joints that could’ve been selected here—Polytechnique, Enemy, Sicario—but I’ll always have a soft spot for Prisoners. The film is set in a fictional working-class Pennsylvania town where two little girls go missing on Thanksgiving and one of the fathers, Keller Dover (Hugh Jackman), will stop at nothing to get answers. Jake Gyllenhaal is also in this as a detective who looks like he hasn’t slept in months—one of the side effects of Resting Gyllenhaal Face—and Paul Dano plays the primary suspect, named, regrettably, Alex Jones. This is one of those films where, the more you learn about how and why the girls went missing, the more you’ll be thrown into a pit of despair. All told, Prisoners is one of my favorite David Fincher movies not directed by David Fincher.
Worst vibe moment: Hoo boy. So, Alex Jones arouses a lot of suspicion because he’s pretty creepy and implies he’s taken the girls. (“They only cried when I left them,” he tells Keller.) As a result, Keller mercilessly tortures the guy in an abandoned apartment complex: beating Alex senseless, barricading him in a shower, and repeatedly dousing him with boiling water. And yet, Alex isn’t just innocent of the crimes: He was, in fact, one of the earliest victims of a couple who’ve spent decades abducting and poisoning children to punish God for their son’s death. (By the start of Prisoners, the husband has died, but Melissa Leo’s Holly Jones is continuing the tradition.) Alex’s mental issues are the result of his upbringing, and a vengeful Keller went full Zero Dark Thirty on his ass. I love watching a thespian beat up Paul Dano as much as the next guy—shout out to There Will Be Blood—but I gotta draw the line at Prisoners.
Eden Lake (2008)
Why it’s included: The debut feature from James Watkins—incidentally, the director of the Speak No Evil remake—Eden Lake follows a young couple, Jenny and Steve (Kelly Reilly and Michael Fassbender), as they go on vacation in the English countryside. Shortly after arriving, the couple is harassed by local hoodlums in the woods, and the situation escalates until there’s a body count. Politically, Eden Lake comes across like Tory propaganda, demonizing a working-class community and its children—part of a trend in British cinema known as “hoodie horror.” But even if Eden Lake was made in poor taste, I can’t deny that it’s an effective thrill ride—one that, for better or worse, never pulls its punches.
Worst vibe moment: For anyone who’s seen Eden Lake, this will be a no-brainer. Steve, sadly, dies from the many stab wounds he suffered at the hands of the hoodlums, and when the group captures Jenny, they tie the couple to a pile of wood to burn them. The group coerces a young boy, Adam (James Gandhi), into setting Steve and Jenny on fire while they record him, ensuring that he can’t tell anyone what happened without being implicated. The fire burns the rope tied around the couple, which allows Jenny to break free. And as Jenny escapes, the group’s sadistic leader, Brett (Jack O’Connell), threatens to burn Adam alive unless she comes back. True to his word, we hear Adam screaming in agony before getting a brief glimpse of the poor kid being necklaced. I can honestly say few movie deaths have disturbed me more. It’s truly evil stuff (complimentary).
Pulse (2001)
Why it’s included: If Kiyoshi Kurosawa’s Cure had come out in the 2000s, it would’ve made the list, but the Japanese auteur’s other horror masterpiece, Pulse, is more than a worthy substitute. In the film, a disparate group of young adults in Tokyo encounters disturbing corners of the internet—one site beginning with the ominous message “Would You Like to Meet a Ghost?”—that may be a sign of malevolent spirits invading the real world. (Probably not a coincidence: Lots of people begin disappearing throughout the city.) Considering that the film came out more than 20 years ago, Pulse was certainly ahead of its time, imagining the web as less of a digital oasis than a prison that compounds our sense of isolation and dread. Honestly, Kurosawa might’ve invented a literal interpretation of doomscrolling before we even knew what it was.
Worst vibe moment: The hallway scene. If you know, you know.
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
Why it’s included: On the Fincher front, it was very tempting to go with Zodiac, but The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo gets the slight edge because we never got a trilogy—and what’s more depressing than that? (See also: the Sony email hack, which revealed that Rooney Mara desperately wanted a sequel to happen; I have never felt so much sympathy for the daughter of a billionaire.) Besides, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo delivers the goods, including an opening title sequence that feels like James Bond going through an emo phase, the grisly death of an adorable cat, Stellan Skarsgard being an absolute freak, Mara going full Lisbeth Salander by actually piercing her nipples, and Daniel Craig defying the laws of physics with his glasses. True story: I convinced a group of high school friends to watch The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo in theaters; it was the last time I got to be in charge of movie night.
Worst vibe moment: I hate to even type this out, but the obvious answer is Lisbeth’s rape scene. When her guardian suffers a stroke, she’s appointed a new one, Nils Bjurman (Yorick van Wageningen), who threatens to have her institutionalized if she doesn’t perform sexual favors. The sequence is, as you’d imagine, extremely hard to watch, though it doesn’t take long for Nils to get his comeuppance. Lisbeth records the rape, thereby blackmailing Nils; she then returns to his place, sodomizes him with a steel dildo, and tattoos “I AM A RAPIST PIG” across his chest. Revenge is a dish best served with a tattoo pen:
Lake Mungo (2008)
Why it’s included: Another movie that apes Twin Peaks—right down to starring a teenage girl with the surname “Palmer”—Lake Mungo is framed as a documentary that explores the death of Alice Palmer (Talia Zucker) and the supposedly supernatural events her family experienced after it. The first and only feature from Australian director Joel Anderson, which adds to the film’s mystique, Lake Mungo is a slow burn, taking its time to reveal that Alice harbored many secrets from her loved ones. (Again, it’s very Laura Palmer coded.) Unsurprisingly, then, Lake Mungo is all about bad vibes: It’s a wrenching exploration of what grief does to a family, and how searching for answers can do more harm than good.
Worst vibe moment: While Lake Mungo is an understated horror film, it does build to a single all-timer jump scare. When Alice’s family uncovers her cellphone, it contains footage of Alice coming across her bloated, corpse-like doppelgänger at the ill-fated Lake Mungo. Essentially, Alice saw her own ghost days before she died. The implications alone are unsettling, but what makes the scene so effective is how grounded in reality everything leading up to the supernatural footage feels. Out of context, the jump scare won’t hit the same; when you’re completely under Lake Mungo’s spell, it’ll ruin your night in the best way.
The Strangers (2008)
Why it’s included: The terrors of a home invasion thriller are pretty self-explanatory, but The Strangers is one of those movies that sticks with you because of its senseless cruelty. The film follows a young couple, James and Kristen (Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler), as their rural vacation home is attacked by three masked intruders. Writer-director Bryan Bertino excels at building suspense, particularly in the 10-minute sequence when Kristen slowly realizes that she isn’t alone in the house. (I can vividly recall seeing The Strangers in a theater and the audience freaking the fuck out when one of the masked killers sneaks into frame.) On a related note, I’ve never been more grateful to live in a crowded city.
Worst vibe moment: This is an easy call to make. Toward the end of The Strangers, James and Kristen are tied up by the killers, and Kristen demands to know why they’ve been subjected to such torment. “Because you were home,” the female intruder known as Dollface (Gemma Ward) cooly responds. Also terrifying: The intruders proceed to remove their masks, and James and Kristen realize that they’re not planning to leave any witnesses. (Sure enough, they’re stabbed repeatedly.) The Strangers’ titular killers went to the Michael Myers School of Evil, where acts of barbarity happen for no reason other than the love of the game. What could be scarier than that?
Nightcrawler (2014)
Why it’s included: Jakey G is a first-ballot bad vibes actor, and I’d argue his best performance comes in Nightcrawler as Lou Bloom, a stringer who has a knack for recording violent crimes across Los Angeles. Writer-director Dan Gilroy does an excellent job of conveying not just how journalism has curdled into sensationalized entertainment, but also the lengths to which people are willing to go to follow an entrepreneurial grindset. Of course, Nightcrawler wouldn’t be as great as it is without Gyllenhaal, whose manic, morally bankrupt antihero splits the difference between Patrick Bateman and a TMZ reporter.
Worst vibe moment: Nightcrawler has one of the most uncomfortable “dates” ever put to film, courtesy of when Lou takes the head of the KWLA 6 morning news, the wonderfully named Nina Romina (Rene Russo), out for dinner. Lou rattles off compliments in an eerie monotone voice that makes it seem like he rehearsed them beforehand in a mirror, and if that wasn’t bad enough, the date ends with Lou threatening to take his footage elsewhere if Nina doesn’t sleep with him. (He’s aware that her contract at the station is up soon and she needs higher ratings to keep her job.) Everything about the scene screams big incel energy, and for some unlucky viewers, it might trigger memories of the worst dates they’ve suffered through. (If you’ve ever been to dinner with a Lou, you have my deepest sympathies.)
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
Why it’s included: This is what you watch when you truly hate yourself. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania is one of the ugliest big-budget films in recent memory, and an early warning sign that the Marvel Cinematic Universe was no longer guaranteed to light up the box office. Note to Marvel: Stop overworking VFX artists, and maybe your blockbusters won’t look like janky screen savers.
Worst vibe moment: Any scene involving Kang the Conqueror, who was billed as the MCU’s next big bad before Jonathan Majors was found guilty of two misdemeanor counts of harassment and assault. Marvel has since axed Majors and spent “significantly more” than $80 million to lure Robert Downey Jr. back to the franchise as Doctor Doom. When we look back at the MCU’s downfall—wishful thinking, but bear with me—Quantumania will be remembered as the inflection point.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)
Why it’s included: The Bad Vibes Canon wouldn’t be complete without the Greek Freak Yorgos Lanthimos. Even as Lanthimos has gone mainstream in recent years, he’s still one of our finest purveyors of eccentric, deeply uncomfortable cinema. There are a lot of great options in his filmography, but I’ve gone with The Killing of a Sacred Deer because of its combination of the deadpan, stilted dialogue of his early Greek films and the kind of star power he’s now associated with. In the movie, cardiac surgeon Steven Murphy (Colin Farrell) meets with Martin Lang (Barry Keoghan), a teenager whose father died on Murphy’s operating table. Soon after, Martin gives Steven an ultimatum: He must choose one member of his family to kill; otherwise, they’ll all die from a mysterious, paralyzing disease. The predicament is harrowing, but also, in Lanthimos’s hands, morbidly funny, especially when all the characters recite the script’s wooden dialogue like artificial intelligence programs.
Worst vibe moment: There’s a scene when Steven’s wife, Anna (Nicole Kidman), visits Martin and pleads with him to put a stop to the strange illness affecting her children. An unmoved Martin proceeds to inhale a plate of spaghetti, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more disturbed by someone carbo-loading. Apologies to Barry Keoghan, I was not familiar with your game.
Super Dark Times (2017)
Why it’s included: Around the same time that Stranger Things burst onto the scene, basking in the warm glow of ’80s nostalgia, the indie psychological thriller Super Dark Times asked a question: What if Stand by Me were about a kid who accidentally killed someone? One day after school, teenage pals Josh (Charlie Tahan) and Zach (Owen Campbell) head into the woods to mess around with a katana that Josh’s older brother left at home—they’re accompanied by two other boys from school, Daryl (Max Talisman) and Charlie (Sawyer Barth). Then, the unthinkable happens: Josh fatally stabs Daryl, and the kids hide the body and the weapon. From there, Super Dark Times lingers on the guilt and paranoia the characters face until things take a turn that leads to some, well, even darker times.
Worst vibe moment: After the accident, Zach goes back to the scene of the crime and discovers that the katana’s gone missing. That, along with the fact that another kid from school died in what appeared to be an accident, leads Zach to surmise that Josh might be feeding some nascent homicidal urges. Sure enough, Zach tracks Josh down at the end of the movie and finds two girls from school, Allison (Elizabeth Cappuccino) and Meghan (Adea Lennox), tied up in a bedroom—Meghan, sadly, is already dead. Seeing a seasoned fighter wield a katana is one thing; it’s somehow more terrifying when a mentally unstable teenager is flailing around with one. Kids, don’t try this at home.
Oldboy (2003)
Why it’s included: Park Chan-wook remains one of cinema’s most gifted sickos, and Oldboy is considered his magnum opus—for good reason. The story concerns a businessman, Oh Dae-su (Choi Min-sik), who is mysteriously kidnapped, framed for the murder of his wife, and kept in isolation for 15 years. When Oh Dae-su is set free, he sets about finding whoever is responsible, crossing paths with Mi-do (Kang Hye-jung), a young chef he falls in love with, before discovering his captor was Lee Woo-jin (Yoo Ji-tae), his former classmate in high school. At this point, Oldboy has the trappings of a classic revenge tale—complete with a hallway brawl that’s among the greatest action sequences ever filmed—and one expects Oh Dae-su to gain the upper hand against his adversary. Right?
Worst vibe moment: Well, about that. Dae-su learns that Woo-jin tortured him because, in high school, Dae-su saw Woo-jin committing incest with his sister. After the gossip spread throughout the school, Woo-jin’s sister died by suicide. Woo-jin’s master plan: Keep Dae-su confined for 15 years, until he was old enough to unwittingly have a sexual relationship with his own daughter … Mi-do. Dae-su is so distraught after learning the truth that he begs Woo-jin to keep the information from Mi-do, going so far as to cut out his tongue as penance. The first time I saw Oldboy, I reacted to the twist like I was Cillian Murphy in Oppenheimer. This is a level of messed up that few movies can ever hope to aspire to. On the WTF incest front, Oldboy runs circles around Game of Thrones.
Memories of Murder (2003)
Why it’s included: As much as I adore Zodiac, there’s no denying Fincher’s masterpiece shares a lot of connective tissue with Memories of Murder, another serial killer drama in which answers are hard to come by. Directed and cowritten by the great Bong Joon-ho, Memories of Murder follows detectives Park Doo-man (Song Kang-ho) and Seo Tae-yoon (Kim Sang-kyung) as they investigate a string of rapes and murders in South Korea’s Gyeonggi Province. The film is loosely based on the country’s first confirmed serial murders, which, at the time of its release, remained unsolved. While there are moments of levity in Memories of Murder—particularly when the detectives repeatedly dropkick people—the lack of resolution hangs over the movie like a dark cloud.
Worst vibe moment: With Doo-man and Tae-yoon never finding the person responsible for the killings, Memories of Murder goes for an ambitious ending that, in a way, transcends the events of the film. Doo-man returns to the scene of the first crime in 2003—the murders start in 1986—and he talks to a little girl who recalls seeing a man visiting the same spot and reminiscing about what he’d done there in the past. That’s when Doo-man breaks the fourth wall by staring into the camera, a powerful send-off that feels like the character is looking for the culprit on the other end of the screen. Incredibly, the case was solved in 2019, when South Korean authorities arrested Lee Choon-jae, who confessed to murdering 14 people. But while it is a little comforting to know that the real-life killer was eventually apprehended, Memories of Murder remains a harrowing watch. If you’re in the mood for it, Zodiac and Memories of Murder would be the ultimate “he can’t keep getting away with it” double feature.
Mulholland Drive (2001)
Why it’s included: Despite his wholesome weather reports, David Lynch is a Bad Vibe connoisseur. However, we have only two films to choose from in the 21st century: Mulholland Drive and Inland Empire. (I thought about nominating Twin Peaks: The Return, but having another “is this TV or cinema?” debate would be a needless distraction; I’ll leave such concerns to the French.) With respect to Inland Empire’s creepy-ass rabbits, Mulholland Drive is an all-timer that’s even beloved by critics who don’t know what the hell it’s about. Trying to explain what happens in Mulholland Drive is a losing battle, but I’ll give it a shot, anyway: Aspiring actress Betty Elms (Naomi Watts) arrives in Los Angeles and befriends an amnesiac woman (Laura Harring); the two then go about trying to solve the mystery of the woman’s identity. There’s also Justin Theroux as a filmmaker who has to deal with Billy Ray Cyrus sleeping with his wife and a gangster who has intense espresso opinions. (Just go with it.) If there are any answers to be found in Mulholland Drive, they’re probably multiple choice—the best way to experience the movie is by marinating in its surreal, dream-like vibes.
Worst vibe moment: There were many scenes to choose from, but there’s one moment that completely traumatized me: The One at the Diner. A man named Dan (Patrick Fischler) meets with his friend Herb (Michael Cooke) at Winkie’s Diner and tells him about a nightmare he had in which he encountered a sinister figure behind the establishment’s dumpster. Even though the scene takes place in broad daylight, and Dan tells you exactly what’s going to happen, it’s the stuff of nightmares when the monstrous entity pops into frame. (IMDb lists the character as, simply, Bum.) Fun fact: the actress behind the Bum, Bonnie Aarons, went on to play the demon nun Valak in The Conjuring franchise. Talk about a face for horror.
The Mist (2007)
Why it’s included: Failing to incorporate a Stephen King adaptation in the Bad Vibes Canon would’ve been a glaring oversight, and while there’s no shortage of films to pick from, The Mist is the clear front-runner. Based on King’s 1980 novella of the same name, The Mist sees a small town in Maine get enveloped in an ominous mist that’s home to Lovecraftian monsters. As the townsfolk sequestered in a grocery store face the unimaginable, an Evangelical fundamentalist uses the opportunity to preach about the End Times and how sacrifices must be made to appease the monsters. (This movie hit different during the pandemic.) The Mist is not unlike writer-director Frank Darabont’s work on The Walking Dead, where the real terror doesn’t come from monsters, but other people.
Worst vibe moment: Toward the end of The Mist, our protagonist David Drayton (Thomas Jane) leaves the grocery store with a handful of (non-fanatical) survivors and his son, Billy (Nathan Gamble). Unfortunately, the car they take soon runs out of gas, and with the mist surrounding them and no hope of escape, David pulls out a gun. There are five people in the car and only four bullets, so David opts to shoot everyone—including his own son—before venturing out into the mist and letting the monsters take him. However, just moments after doing the horrible deed, the mist disappears and the U.S. Army swoops in to save the day. My guy killed his son for nothing. The twist wasn’t even from the source material, but it was so soul-destroying that it got the Master of Horror’s seal of approval. “I thought that was terrific,” King told Yahoo Entertainment in 2017. “It was so anti-Hollywood—anti-everything, really! It was nihilistic. I liked that.” Same, Stephen, same.
The Witch (2015)
Why it’s included: Robert Eggers’s Nosferatu remake is set to arrive on Christmas Day—nothing gets someone in the holiday spirit quite like an iconic vampire draining innocents of their blood—and if anyone wants a preview of coming attractions, check out The Witch. Eggers’s directorial debut is set in 1630s New England, where a family is banished from a Puritan settlement and makes a new life for themselves in the woods. As the title implies, the family comes under threat from a witch, and one of their goats—Black Phillip—turns out to be more than meets the eye. There are two ways to experience The Witch: one, by getting scared out of your mind from the eerie atmosphere, or two, by embracing the spooky vibes that will make you want to live deliciously. You can’t go wrong either way.
Worst vibe moment: When the family’s preteen son, Caleb (Harvey Scrimshaw), gets lost in the woods, he reaches the hovel of the titular witch. She takes the form of a seductive woman—played by real-life Playboy model Sarah Stephens—and Caleb is drawn to her. It’s hard to describe the dread you feel watching this scene for the first time; the sense that Caleb is being pulled in against his will and is a goner long before the witch plants an ominous kiss on his lips. I don’t think the term “fear boner” was around in Puritan times, but that’s the only way to explain what’s happening here. One sec, I’m getting a call from HR.
mother! (2017)
Why it’s included: When it comes to the films of Darren Aronofsky, the obvious choice would be Requiem for a Dream, a feel-bad classic that probably scared a whole generation of viewers off from ass play. (Wow, HR is really blowing up my phone.) But then there’s mother!, Aronofsky’s ambitious psychological horror film that made headlines for earning a rare F grade from CinemaScore. (Translation: Audiences absolutely hated it.) Where to begin with mother!? The movie is ostensibly about, you guessed it, a mother (Jennifer Lawrence) whose life is disrupted by unwanted guests barging into her home. It can be viewed as a biblical allegory, but knowing what mother!’s actually about doesn’t make it any less unpleasant to sit through. Frankly, this is a Mount Rushmore–level Bad Vibes movie.
Worst vibe moment: I can’t even begin to describe the anxiety that coursed through my body when two guests destroyed mother’s sink, but nothing that happens in the film compares to Aronofsky being so obsessed with the reviews for mother! that J-Law broke up with him. One of the worst instances of fumbling the bag you’ll ever see.
Kill List (2011)
Why it’s included: I’m not sure what compelled Ben Wheatley to direct a woeful adaptation of Rebecca and Meg 2: The Trench in the past four years, but for a time, the British auteur was one of the most exciting new faces in horror. His best film, Kill List, has been favorably compared to The Wicker Man, right down to its ritualistic climax (more on that shortly). Following British ex-soldiers Jay (Neil Maskell) and Gal (Michael Smiley) as they take an assignment as hitmen, Kill List slowly reveals that the characters have been dragged into the orbit of occultists. Even the people that Jay and Gal assassinate seem to be in on the act, showing gratitude for losing their lives. On a related note: Jay bludgeons someone to death with a hammer, a scene I would only recommend watching on an empty stomach.
Worst vibe moment: Heading to a secluded mansion to terminate the last person on their kill list, Jay and Gal find a group of masked cultists performing what appears to be a human sacrifice. One thing leads to another, and Gal is mortally wounded—Jay has to mercy kill his buddy—before Jay is knocked unconscious. When he comes to, Jay fights a masked figure known as the Hunchback, who wields a knife and slashes somewhat aimlessly in his direction. When Jay gets the upper hand, repeatedly stabbing the Hunchback, he removes its mask to discover that it was actually his wife, Shel (MyAnna Buring), and that their son, Sam (Harry Simpson), was strapped to her back. Midsommar stuffing Jack Reynor into a bear carcass and setting his ass on fire might be the most enduring image of 21st-century cult horror, but Kill List ending with a dude inadvertently killing his own family wins out in the Bad Vibes department.
Speak No Evil (2022)
Why it’s included: The remake’s coming out on Friday, and I want readers to know the original Speak No Evil is worth seeking out. Also: The movie is just, like, really fucked up. A quick refresher on the setup: Danish couple Bjorn and Louise (Morten Burian and Sidsel Siem Koch) and their daughter, Agnes (Liva Forsberg), meet Patrick and Karin (Fedja van Huet and Karina Smulders) and their son, Abel (Marius Damslev), on a vacation in Tuscany, and accept their new friends’ offer of spending a weekend with them. But things aren’t quite what they seem. The first of many warning signs during the getaway: Patrick and Karin start being passive-aggressive toward Bjorn and Louise and are cruel to their own son, who has congenital aglossia (born without a tongue).
Worst vibe moment: Bjorn finds photos of Patrick and Karin with other couples and their young children, including Abel. Bjorn deduces that Patrick and Karin are [deep breath] serial killers who abduct their latest victims’ child, cut out the child’s tongue, and then use the child as bait to keep the scheme going. (It’s much easier to trust people when they’ve got a cute little kid in tow.) When Bjorn eventually takes his family and drives away in the middle of the night, the car breaks down. Patrick and Karin follow them, and proceed to cut out Agnes’s tongue. Bjorn and Louise are then ordered to remove their clothes and are taken to a quarry where they’re stoned to death. This was my face throughout the final 15 minutes of the movie:
The moral of the story: DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, BEFRIEND STRANGERS ON VACATION.
