It’s been a tough year to play for the New York Jets. Their humiliating loss to the Arizona Cardinals on Sunday dropped them to 3-7 on the season (remember: New York started 4-5 last year with Zach Wilson), and incredibly, there has been almost no statistical difference in offensive output between this Aaron Rodgers campaign and the previous three Jets seasons. As Chase Stuart of Football Perspective noted Sunday, the Jets through 10 games with Rodgers have delivered almost exactly the same number of points per game (17.7 vs 17.6) and a single passing yard more per game (211.7 vs. 210.3) than what the Jets averaged in their first 10 games from 2021 to 2023.
There are no more levers to pull. Head coach Robert Saleh has been fired; interim coach Jeff Ulbrich said losing to the Pats was “a moment of darkness”; and receiver Davante Adams has already been acquired in a trade—though that’s led to little onfield benefit. Green Bay backup Malik Willis has been involved in the same number of wins this season as Rodgers.
But there is good news. Since the Jets have been all but eliminated from the playoffs—The Athletic’s playoff model gives them just a 7 percent chance of making the postseason—their schedule just opened up for some awesome trips in January and February! Delete those “Playoff games—TBD” calendar holds, fellas, and get on Tripadvisor to look at some potential vacation destinations. And if you don’t have time for that, we’ve taken the liberty of compiling our 10 best winter getaway ideas for Jets players.
1. Cancún, Mexico
Cancún is one of the most popular vacation destinations in the world for a reason. From Playa Delfines to La Isla to Avenida Kukulkan, Cancún is already the go-to destination for NBA players who’ve been eliminated from the playoffs (and it’s way better than Galveston). This might be the best place in the world to watch postseason football from the beach.
2. Cairo, Egypt
Rodgers missed mandatory minicamp in June to go on what he said was a preplanned trip to Egypt. “I’ve been a fan [of Egypt] for three decades, ever since I was in a gifted and talented education class,” Rodgers said in July. This trip, of course, started a bit of a media kerfuffle, as Saleh did not excuse Rodgers’s absence and said as much in press conferences (before clarifying that this was definitely not an issue, no, not at all). Luckily, the Jets shouldn’t have any practices to miss after Week 18, giving any other players who’d like to visit Egypt plenty of time to investigate who really built these pyramids without skipping out on any time at the office.
3. Peru
Peru is home to some of the most beautiful scenery in the world, including the Incan citadel Machu Picchu, which dates back to the 1400s. Rodgers, however, has visited Peru in the past to go on more of an … inner journey (a.k.a. to take drugs). In 2020, Rodgers went to Peru for an ayahuasca retreat. It was, apparently, an illuminating trip for the quarterback, as he experienced what he called “ego death.” “It was all about a major ego death,” Rodgers said. “It was going to the depths of my soul and hearing and feeling all that self-criticism, all that doubt, all that judgment that I placed on myself.”
Processing that apparently did wonders. Rodgers won the NFL MVP award in 2020 and again in 2021. If any other Jets find themselves with too much ego—or just want Rodgers to kill his again—they can find themselves a nice maloca to stay in and enjoy the ceremony.
4. Sky Cave Retreats, Oregon
Whether you’re looking for some offseason fun or good old-fashioned rest and relaxation, the Cascade-Siskiyou wilderness of southern Oregon is the place for you. Relax into the rhythm of the dark at Sky Cave Retreats, what some say is the leading darkness therapy location on earth. The goal of darkness therapy is to simply exist. Settle into the body. Intimate what is (and what isn’t). While there is no light whatsoever, the amenities include an “organic latex mattress” and a “quiet & spacious 300 sq ft room.” Perfect for Jets players who are tired of seeing and hearing people make fun of them and their season.
5. Waialae Country Club, Honolulu, Hawaii
Jets cornerback Sauce Gardner got into golf this offseason.
Like, really into golf.
And much like everyone else who has ever started playing golf, he subsequently got worse at his job. Sauce was named first-team All-Pro in each of his first two NFL seasons. The only other defenders to have done that in the Super Bowl era are Dallas’s Micah Parsons and New York’s Lawrence Taylor. This season, though, Sauce has collected a slew of penalties, and head coach Ulbrich said recently that Gardner’s tackling “needs to be better, and he knows that.”
Respectfully, tackling sucks. Golf is way more fun. And considering that the Jets’ last game will likely be on January 5, why not go out to the Sony Open in Honolulu later in the month and play with the pros? Rickie Fowler, Cam Young, and Will Zalatoris had a ton of feedback on Sauce’s swing this summer. So maybe he should attend the tournament and forget about this whole football thing for a while.
6. Indianapolis, Indiana
The home of the world’s largest sporting event (the Indy 500) and the world’s loudest sporting event (The Pat McAfee Show), Indianapolis is the perfect place for Jets players to watch Rodgers talk to McAfee live. Where else can they see Rodgers pontificate about aliens, vaccines, and cancel culture? (Other than in the locker room every day.)
7. Las Vegas, Nevada
The city of sin, the Sphere, and also Davante Adams’s Taco Bell house. What became of that Taco Bell when Adams went to the Jets? He just put a Taco Bell in his home and asked for a trade? What happened to the guy who worked there? Will he work for the people who buy the house next? Did Davante bring the nacho fry posters with him to New Jersey?
8. Columbus, Ohio
Jets wide receiver Garrett Wilson can return to his alma mater after the season and blend in with all the other 24-year-olds who go back to campus to relive their glory days and get blackout drunk while trying to forget how much they hate their jobs. While Wilson is there, he can grab Ohio State phenom receiver Jeremiah Smith and tell him to never grow up, Billy Madison style.
9. Riley, Kansas
Riley County, near Leonardville, Kansas, is the home of former Packers legend Jordy Nelson. Rodgers has exhausted most all of his options after already bringing several former Green Bay receivers to the Jets—Allen Lazard and Adams are currently on the team, and Randall Cobb was last year—with little success. But Nelson could be the skeleton key to unlocking the whole enterprise. While he is 39 years old and has been retired for six seasons, the mind meld he established with Rodgers will never truly go away. Nelson will need to be convinced to give up his day job of tending to his farm, attending Kansas State games, and being the assistant girls basketball coach at the local high school. But if enough Jets travel to Kansas, they could possibly convince him to deliver them to the promised land.
10. Green Bay, Wisconsin
If the Jets are wondering what postseason football looks like, they could attend a Packers home playoff game in January. It would be especially cool for many of them since they used to, well, be in said playoff games when they were members of the Packers.
