“It’s like nobody ever changes!” yells Carrie Coon’s character Laurie during an argument in the most recent episode of The White Lotus. “We’re still the same people we were in the 10th grade!” She sounds half frustrated, half astonished, and she’s right to feel that way. It’s hard hanging out with your oldest friends sometimes, being perceived by people who have already seen too much and vice versa. It’s like, you think you know a person—and then it turns out you really, really do!
Mike White, the creator of The White Lotus, dwelled creatively in that high school realm for much of his early career. He got a writing job on Dawson’s Creek after he graduated from college and also wrote a couple of episodes of Freaks and Geeks. He penned the screenplay for Orange County, a movie about a guy trying to get into Stanford. (When White was an actual young man himself, he produced homemade slasher films and got into Wesleyan.)
His early feature Chuck and Buck was about two guys who knew each other way back when. (In an interview last month, Parker Posey reminisced to me about meeting White in those days: “I feel like Mike is like a high school friend, right?” she said. “Because we kind of grew up in the ’90s independent film scene. And then he did School of Rock, and I passed on School of Rock.”) In 2001, White created a short-lived TV show called Pasadena, which featured both a 15-year-old rich-girl main character and “a handsome scholarship student with resentment for [her] family money,” natch. And in 2007, he ruffled feathers when he critiqued his friend Judd Apatow’s movie Knocked Up: “At what point do you get over, you know, being rejected by the hot girl when you were in junior high?” White asked then.
Looking back over three seasons of The White Lotus, it seems like White has answered his own question: You don’t. Whether or not they were friends in high school, his characters carry their pasts around like bellhops juggling luggage. No remembered slight is too small, no grudge is too big to lug around forever. From Hawaii to Sicily to Thailand, there’s no escaping the self.
What about the people behind the characters, though? Inspired by Laurie’s “We’re still the same people we were in the 10th grade!” lament, I decided to ask members of The White Lotus’s cast and crew:
What were YOU like in 10th grade?
In interviews and emails alike, their collective answers paint a vivid picture of a bunch of creatively driven teenagers who were just trying to figure out their lives and selves, man. Some were restless, some were Goody Two-shoes, and some were only just discovering their potential.
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Charlotte Le Bon (Chloe)
Turned 15 in 2001
At 15, I had absolutely no clue who I was. I remember seeing [Darren] Aronofsky’s Requiem for a Dream and thinking, “OK, I’d better be careful, ’cause this is what teenage-hood is like.” I thought teenage-hood was a rough and challenging period where you had to keep your head low and resist drugs and perdition. So I was a pretty calm 15-year-old. … I would rather hang and watch movies with my parents on Friday nights instead of going out with friends. Actually, my parents were throwing lots of parties, and I remember preferring their adult friends to mine! I still love hanging with my parents today.
Arnas Fedaravicius (Valentin)
Turned 15 in 2006
I remember I would write little short stories—I liked literature very much—and I was an avid reader of Kurt Vonnegut and Charles Bukowski at that time. I really got into Pink Floyd, and I would also run away from school once or twice a week to go to the movies—I think I saw everything that was on that year! So, I guess your standard semi-rebellious teenager.
Aimee Lou Wood (Chelsea)
Turned 15 in 2009
Tenth grade, I was so—I was very, very shy. And then I wasn’t having a great time at school. And I realized if I started doing funny voices and funny characters, the time was easier. So I was leaning heavily into class clown. I’d gone from, like, straight A’s—the teachers had such high hopes for me—and then I realized I could gain popularity by being disruptive and silly.
And so that year was the start of me just being like—detentions, all of that stuff. It was a real fall from grace. But it did make school easier! I had a protective shield of being the class clown so well.
Ben Kutchins (Cinematographer)
When I was 15, I was taking photos every day of my friends skateboarding … dreaming of landing the cover photo on Thrasher skate magazine. I was stealing my parents’ car and cruising around with a learner’s permit praying I didn’t get pulled over. I was also really getting into movies and would see whatever was playing at the local cinema. I remember particularly loving Drugstore Cowboy and Total Recall at that age.
Dom Hetrakul (Pornchai)
Turned 15 in 1991
Tenth grade in Thailand, in my time, was about preparing for university, quite a lot of change after nine playful years. We also had to attend Thai Reserve Officer Training Corps. I was a student in the middle of the classroom, didn’t know where or who I was supposed to be. Not too many friends, but happy. Average young person who took whatever came into the path. I really hated changes but still felt happy to move forward. Still miss the time.
Parker Posey (Victoria)
Turned 15 in 1983
I was on my way to becoming an actor. I was wearing, like, turtlenecks and gray sweaters and had, like, you know, a geometric haircut. I was reading Dostoevsky. You know, I was reading Camus and Brave New World, and I was identifying with those kinds of stories as a reader. I loved English. I wanted to get out and live my life. I was so serious! I was a serious young person. Were you a serious young person?
Natasha Rothwell (Belinda)
Turned 15 in 1995
Oh my God. In 10th grade I was a people-pleasing, super-nerd theater geek. And the residue of that is still on me. You know, I’ve been in therapy for 20-plus years, so I’ve worked out the bad parts. But I think at the end of the day, I’m still a nerd. I still love helping people—and God bless theater, always.
Yuri Kolokolnikov (Vlad)
Turned 15 in 1995
At 15, I already had size 13 feet and was constantly moving between two continents—my father in Russia and my mother in Canada—trying to figure out where I belonged and what language I thought in.
Recently, I was going through an old box of memories and found my diaries. Turns out, I had been writing them since I was 14. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with such an ego—or more of a self-proclaimed philosopher. That boy really made an impression on me. So much emotion, so much tenderness in his words. He’s practically shouting from the pages: Look at me. Love me. Help me. Who am I? Why am I here? But I don’t pity him. And now, 30 years later, putting the pieces together, I still see him in myself, jumping fearless (naked) into the deep end of the pool.
Meredith Tucker (Casting Director)
I was a big ol’ dork—did lots of extracurricular activities, none particularly well. Field hockey, the marching and concert bands, high school newspaper. … Somehow, I was vice president of the French honor society despite being an incredibly mediocre French student. Played SCRUB WOMAN no. 1 in the school’s production of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.
Nicholas Duvernay (Zion)
Turned 15 in 2014
Man. Tenth grade was an interesting time. I was a late bloomer, so that was the year I was transitioning from just a quiet guy to one of the more popular kids. I think the summer before, I had just started getting a little taller, and so I went from this once awkward, very shy kid to getting a little more confidence, a little attention. And that year I remember I really leaned into being the class clown.
I didn’t like school very much, so getting all the laughs from my peers made school a lot more fun. I always kept pretty good grades and was cool with all my teachers, so they would [let me] get away with these insane, elaborate pranks in class. I was pursuing acting at the time, but I was still very much focused on sports as a priority.
Carrie Coon and Leslie Bibb (Laurie and Kate)
Turned 15 in 1996 and 1989, respectively
Coon: Tenth grade? I was still getting chased out of the ladies’ room. Because I had short hair, and I had—I was very a late bloomer, as they say, and I looked like a boy, and I was just always there, like—Are you sure you’re supposed to be in here? So I was in a really awkward stage in 10th grade. And I remember, oh my, one of my brother’s friends said to me one day—my brother had a band, and all the boys were always at our house, and they were a little older than me—and he was like, you know, Someday when you wear makeup and stuff, you’re gonna be real cute. Or something horrible, you know? And I’m like, nope. So, you know, I was terrible … but I was also, like, president of my class and captain of my track team, right? So I was—
Bibb: You start playing soccer then?
Coon: Oh, when I was in, like, fourth grade or something. So it was a real mix—
Bibb: She’s a really good soccer player.
Coon: That’s not—that’s a lie. I’m just really reckless with my body.
Bibb: No. She—
Coon: How were you in 10th grade?
Bibb: Kind of like I am now? Not popular? Wanted to be. I just, being smart was, like, so cool to me. I don’t know, I went to an all-girls high school, so there was only, like, 38 of us in our class.
Coon: That’s really small.
Bibb: So boys were not very important to me because—I don’t know. I’ll tell you what I did in 10th grade! I was a page in the General Assembly—in the Virginia General Assembly! And it was very fun. I didn’t get to live in a hotel with everybody. I did live at home with my mom because we lived in Richmond, and it was so fun. I was the assistant to something, and I was like—I loved it. I don’t know, I just loved it! It was like, around politics and taking—
The Ringer: Running in sneakers … waving the new congressional bills …
Bibb: Yes! I loved that situation. So that was kind of exciting, but like—nerdy stuff like that was cool. Like, not getting asked to—I wasn’t a cheerleader, and I played tennis. Like, I’m not anything—
Coon: Tennis is cool!
Christian Friedel (Fabian)
Turned 15 in 1994
In 10th grade, I was so full of myself that I often clashed with people. Theater and music were everything to me; school was completely irrelevant. I thought I could do anything and had several highs. I’m glad I took off during puberty and that I’m much more humble about my work and my responsibilities today.
Alex Bovaird (Costume Designer)
In the 10th grade I was a minor hooligan. I was at an all-girls boarding school in Brighton [U.K.] and had my walls plastered with bands and boys and iconic movies.
During the week, I was a bored teenage girl in blazers, pleated skirts, and turtlenecks. At the weekend, I’d be guzzling beer in the pubs in my Fred Perry zip-up and Doc Martens—I still have a thing for band T-shirts. I wanted to create my own legend, and I convinced the senior girls to climb over the fence with me to sneak into the Glastonbury Festival.
In ’90s Britain we had a word for me, a “ladette.” I am actually a lot calmer these days, but a rebel at heart.
Walton Goggins (Rick)
Turned 15 in 1986
What do I remember about myself? In the 10th grade? I was—I was a friendly guy. I was a popular guy. I was popular, I think, because I was a good listener, you know, and I was in a band in high school, obviously. And after having moved away for a year—I just remember having a great time, I had a great time in 10th grade.
And, ya know, who doesn’t want to be in high school in the ’80s, man?! Does it get better than that? High school in the ’80s in America? I dunno!
Morgana O’Reilly (Pam)
Turned 15 in 2000
Me at 15. … I was a wacky little shit. I loved hip-hop and roaming the streets aimlessly with my friends. I was pretty sure I wanted to be an actor, although a chef was appealing, too. I’m pretty sure I was funny, or at least I laughed a lot. But I also had a major issue with authority.
Luckily, I went to an “arty” high school, so there were just enough rules to keep me there but not enough to get me expelled. I had just started my first job at Bakers Delight, in which I had to wear maroon culottes and a little baker’s hat—I was MORTIFIED. If ever I saw someone I knew walk past the shop front, I would duck behind the counter.
I would also steal the odd Danish and inhale it in the bathroom. What a time.
Michelle Monaghan (Jaclyn)
Turned 15 in 1991
Gosh, the 10th grade. Sophomore. I had a high school sweetheart, Jason. Lovely, lovely guy from the next town over. Yep. And yeah, I had great, wonderful girlfriends. Still my girlfriends. I grew up in a small town, 700 people. So it was a very, you know, very insular community. And I had a lot of fun. I think I was just kind of finding my way—had just started pursuing modeling. So that was just something on my radar. And I never would have guessed I was going to fall into acting. I had big, high hopes of becoming a journalist! I studied journalism in college, actually.
Sarah Catherine Hook and Sam Nivola (Piper and Lochlan)
Turned 15 in 2010 and 2018, respectively
Hook: Even further from 10th grade, I feel like I’m still the same girl that I was when I was, like, 5 years old. Like, I feel like that innate, like, person that you are from birth—that person still exists. And then you kind of evolve, based off of circumstances and experiences and stuff, and learning new things. But I don’t know. I feel like I’ve hopefully changed since 10th grade, good God. But I do think—
Nivola: You were a pretty cool 10th grader!
Hook: Hopefully! But I think there are definitely parts of me that still—that I’m still very much the same girl. Like, I was very, very bubbly in high school, but then I was a really shy kid. So I think now I’m like, both the shy and the bubbly at the same time. Which, I’m OK with that, I like that.
Nivola: Yeah, I mean, I don’t know. I feel like life is a sort of never-ending thing of trying to find out who you are. And I’m really young, so I wouldn’t know. But just from reading books and whatever, the understanding I have is that no one ever really figures out—
Hook: Who they are! Yeah!
Nivola: And so, yeah, I guess I was probably—I can’t really remember 10th grade that well. But yeah. Just like you said, I guess we all have a sort of core—
Hook: Core!
Nivola: —that you build upon.
Hook: Yeah!
Nivola: But no one ever really knows what that is, necessarily.
Hook: Exactly. But I’m sure it’s all the same—
Nivola: The same—
Hook: Somewhere. Yeah.
