Male movie stars tend to come in two categories. There are the heartthrobs like Timothée Chalamet or, in an earlier era, Leonardo DiCaprio—performers whose considerable talents are elevated by the fact that audiences fantasize about being with them, if not being them. Then you have the everyman, best embodied by Tom Hanks or the late Gene Hackman: actors who resemble mere mortals but possess superhuman levels of charisma. At a time when IP is dominating Hollywood and movie stars are disappearing at an alarming rate, I’ll embrace A-listers in whatever form they take.
Which brings me to Rami Malek. He’s got an Emmy, a Golden Globe, and an Oscar to his name, but Malek is a rare vintage of movie star. There’s the sharp jawline and deep, drawling voice that commands your attention—qualities that should make him a conventionally attractive on-screen presence. But Malek also has a twitchy energy and, in the words of Hanks, his colleague on HBO’s The Pacific, some “haunting eyes.” Whether he’s a leading man or a supporting player, Malek inhabits characters who look like they’ve been through some shit. Basically—and I say this with pure affection—Rami Malek is just a weird little guy. Case in point: Malek’s latest film, The Amateur.
Based on Robert Littell’s novel of the same name—which was previously adapted for the big screen in 1981—The Amateur sees Malek play Charles Heller, a CIA cryptographer whose wife is killed in a London terrorist attack. Heller is hell-bent on getting revenge against the parties responsible, and what he lacks in traditional heroics, he more than makes up for with gumption and tech-enabled resourcefulness. Cool guys don’t look at explosions; a Rami Malek protagonist, however, flinches at them repeatedly:
This is the kind of character Malek was born to play, and that’s not always been the case. Whenever Malek is cast in a conventional role, his uniquely strange aura risks becoming unintentionally distracting. Like Austin Butler taking on an accent, Malek is most in his element as an avatar of awkwardness—and the scientist in me is ready to conduct an empirical review of those avatars. Welcome to the Rami Malek Weirdness Scale.
Here’s how this works: I’ve trawled through Malek’s filmography—as well as his appearances at awards shows, on commercials, and in fan encounters—to craft a compendium of his most bizarre moments. From there, every nominee will be graded on a scale from one to 10. Sometimes we’re judging an entire performance, other times a specific part of it, also known as the Freddie Mercury Teeth Clause. Lastly, I want to make it clear that this is all good-natured ribbing: Malek is a one-of-a-kind presence, and Hollywood would be a less interesting place without him. Let’s dive in.
Freddie Mercury’s Prosthetic Teeth in Bohemian Rhapsody
Fact: Freddie Mercury was born with four extra upper back teeth, and as a result, he had an extreme overbite. Playing Mercury in a biopic without those buckteeth would be like preventing Tom Cruise from running in a movie: controversial, immoral, and entirely missing the point. Considering how much Malek resembles Mercury—to say nothing of the fact that he won an Oscar for portraying him—Bohemian Rhapsody had plenty of good things working for it. Unfortunately, despite all the industry plaudits, the film is a mess: It failed to capture the singular greatness of Queen, and director Bryan Singer was fired from the production for unruly behavior, which is insignificant compared to other accounts of his actions.
Then there’s the small matter of Malek’s large prosthetic teeth. They’re proportional to the real thing; in fact, Mercury’s teeth were actually too big to fit in Malek’s mouth, so Hollywood’s leading tooth-maker—yes, a real and, frankly, iconic profession—gave him a slightly smaller set to wear. But this is the bizarre case of a historically accurate feature becoming a liability. By default, Malek, as someone remarked on Reddit during Bohemian Rhapsody’s awards season run, “always looks like he’s trying to eat chips as quietly as possible.” (Harsh but fair.) Then you throw Mercury’s teeth into the equation, and you’d think Malek is starring in an SNL parody about a beaver who was magically transformed into a rock star:
Call it the Reverse Aimee Lou Wood: These front teeth are out of control for all the wrong reasons. Maybe one day Hollywood will make another good musical biopic that doesn’t star a CGI monkey, but for now, another one bites the dust.
Weirdness Scale: 4/10. One point for each of Mercury’s extra teeth.
Being Ignored by Nicole Kidman at the 2019 Golden Globes
In a social context, there are few things as mortifying as misreading the moment to go for a hug or handshake. Unfortunately, this is something Malek can relate to—at the Golden Globes, no less. As the Bohemian Rhapsody team went up to receive the Golden Globe for Best Drama, Malek attempted to draw the attention of Nicole Kidman, who was presenting the award. It did not go well:
“I have a feeling this is probably haunting me on the internet,” Malek said, correctly, in an interview with Jimmy Kimmel. Thankfully, Kidman did acknowledge Malek when the stars reunited at the Critics’ Choice Awards; during the preshow, she explained that she “just did not feel his hand on my back.” This does not, however, account for when Malek extended both of his arms in her direction and she just gazed off into the distance:
Stars, they’re just like us!
Weirdness Scale: 5/10. There are two responsible parties for an awkward social interaction, so we’ll award Malek half the points here. Besides, only one of these actors has confessed that they enjoy eating insects—and it wasn’t Rami Malek.
The Bug-Eyed Oppenheimer Cameo
I’ll say this for Christopher Nolan: The dude can assemble a cast. For Oppenheimer, Nolan truly flexed his muscles, putting together the most ridiculous collection of actors I can recall seeing in a film—some of whom were overqualified A-listers making the most of a bit part. Malek was no exception. As the nuclear physicist David Hill, Malek appears on the periphery of scenes with Cillian Murphy’s protagonist in Chicago, where Hill tries (and fails) to get Oppenheimer to sign the Szilard petition. Malek barely gets a word in; instead, he conveys how Hill is feeling almost entirely through his giant, expressive eyes. My man’s like a bush baby with a PhD:
For most of Oppenheimer, I thought Nolan was pulling our leg, casting an Oscar winner and relegating him to just staring intensely at other people. But Hill stars in one of the most pivotal parts of the film, testifying at Lewis Strauss’s confirmation hearing that Strauss had a personal vendetta against Oppenheimer, ending his bid to become the new secretary of commerce. As an actor, Malek is often doing the absolute most, but in Oppenheimer, Nolan proved that sometimes, less is more.
Weirdness Scale: 5/10. This was a hard one to rate. On the one hand, Malek remaining tight-lipped and quietly leering at people required an admirable level of restraint. On the other hand, Malek felt like a bomb waiting to go off by the time he was given a monologue in the third act. Ultimately, as far as weirdness goes, that makes Oppenheimer mid-tier Malek.
The Unplaceable Accent in No Time to Die
When Madeleine Swann (Léa Seydoux) has a new patient in her office, her colleague describes him thusly: “He’s weird.” Boy, is he. The last Bond villain before Amazon took over the IP, Malek’s Lyutsifer Safin has surprisingly little screen time in No Time to Die. He appears in the film’s cold open wearing a mask reserved for serial killers and later orchestrates a plan so convoluted that there are explainer articles about it. Really, all you need to know is that Safin provided Malek the opportunity to rock an accent that sounds like an extraterrestrial life-form taking a Russian Babbel course. He also never raises his voice and … talks … at … 0.25x speed. Everything about the way Safin carries himself is so off-putting that his disfigured face—a Bond villain tradition—almost becomes an afterthought.
If I’m being honest, Safin isn’t a particularly good Bond villain, but at the very least, Malek’s [clears throat] unique contributions ensure he’s a memorable one. After all, Safin achieved what no other character in the franchise could: His actions killed 007.
Weirdness Scale: 7/10. Forget taking over the world: Safin missed his true calling narrating Stephen King audiobooks.
The Fan Encounters
By all accounts, Malek is a private person, so you can empathize with his lack of enthusiasm about all the trappings of celebrity. Thankfully, Malek never reacts to the unwanted attention with any form of malice: The encounters are just harmlessly awkward for all involved. My personal favorite is when Malek was signing photos at an event for the second part of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn and seemed a little sloshed. “HOW MANY PIC—YOU GUYS MUST HAVE A THOUSAND OF PICTURES,” he says to no one in particular, a statement that has played on a loop in my head for years.
Another fan inadvertently turned her interaction with Malek outside of a Bohemian Rhapsody Q&A—during which he denied her request to take a video but agreed to a photo—into meme fodder on the social media platform formerly known as Twitter.
Based on the tweets, some people seemed to think that Malek’s reaction to the fan’s request was either rude or unexpected—why not take a video?—but his rationale was more than fair. “I am happy to take photos with anyone,” Malek told Vanity Fair. “I just want to be aware of what people are doing in the moment. When someone films you automatically, it’s a bit intrusive.” Besides, why should a fan feel the need to record a video? YOU GUYS MUST HAVE A THOUSAND OF PICTURES.
Weirdness Scale: 6/10. One person might interpret these fan encounters as weirdness personified; another sees social anxiety that hits close to home. I’m slightly leaning toward the latter. We can all agree, however, that the memes get full marks.
Somehow Not Being a Serial Killer in The Little Things
The Little Things, released on Max in 2021, feels like one of those movies beamed in from another era; considering the script was initially conceived in the early ’90s, it kinda was. Like David Fincher’s Se7en, the film follows two detectives on the hunt for an elusive serial killer. With that setup, you’d think that Malek would be perfectly suited to play the killer or a detective haunted by all the cases he couldn’t solve and the lives he failed to save. Alas, Malek’s detective, Jimmy Baxter, is just … a nice, religious family man?
It’s one of the most bizarre casting choices I’ve ever seen, and it leads you to completely overthink the rest of the film. The whole time, I’m convinced that Baxter is the killer, using his wholesome family life as the ultimate cover for his heinous crimes. Make no mistake: Jared Leto is legitimately creepy as the serial killer suspect, but Malek one-ups him simply by trying to act normal. Even Malek asking Denzel Washington’s character if he believes in God is laced with menace.
Weirdness Scale: 8/10. I remain convinced there’s an alternate cut of The Little Things where Baxter goes on a killing spree.
An Anxious Gorilla in Dolittle
Nobody comes off worse in Dolittle than Robert Downey Jr., who cashed in some of his Marvel clout to star in a blockbuster about a doctor with the ability to speak to animals—who, at one point, [deep sigh] gives a dragon an enema. But I’d be remiss not to mention Malek’s role in this disasterpiece. To quote one of the movie’s posters, Rami Malek is Chee-Chee:
Chee-Chee is an anxious gorilla scared of everything, which, when you think about it, is actually a clever bit of casting. If Malek isn’t giving off creepy vibes, he does seem like a wounded soul who just needs some positive reinforcement in his life (see also: Mr. Robot). That arrives in Dolittle when Chee-Chee gets into a fight with a Bengal tiger (voiced by Ralph Fiennes), during which Chee-Chee repeatedly tells himself that he won’t be a prisoner to his fears before kicking said tiger in the nuts.
This is the first movie Malek starred in after winning an Oscar, by the way.
Weirdness Scale: 8.5/10. Rami Malek is Chee-Chee > Zendaya is Meechee.
The Machiavellian Mastermind of Until Dawn
Interactive storytelling is a fascinating form of entertainment, combining the passive viewing experience with the ability to dictate where the story is headed. The format arguably works best for video games, and one of the most acclaimed titles in that space is Until Dawn. Akin to a slasher film, Until Dawn has a player take control of eight characters who have to survive one wild night on a mountain—the choices you make determine who lives and who dies by the end of it. Until Dawn also utilizes motion capture for the performances, which is great news for Malek, who is cooking with gas.
Malek plays Josh, whose older sisters went missing on the mountain a year earlier due to their friends’ prank gone wrong. It’s eventually revealed that Josh brought back all his sisters’ friends to enact revenge by setting up a bunch of horrifying scenarios and recording them. It’s when Josh is captured by the group, however, that Malek really lets his freak flag fly. As in, like, dry-humping the air while antagonizing his friend:
And who says video games aren’t art?
Weirdness Scale: 9/10. Just watch this video and enjoy Malek doing, like, seven different voices in the span of a few minutes. It’s a tour de force. Mo-cap set him free.
The Mandarin Oriental Commercial That Keeps Me Up at Night
With its logo being a literal fan, the Mandarin Oriental hotel chain has had a running ad campaign of celebrities professing to be “fans” of the brand. It’s a cute, harmless gimmick, but then the hotel brought Malek into the fold. In a commercial where Malek lists some of the things he’s a fan of—chamomile tea, his mom, random encounters(?)—with a stunted speech pattern, the vibe is extremely unsettling. It’s hard to tell whether Malek seems like he’s being held against his will or he’s putting the fear of God into everyone who watches the ad. Bless the internet; someone mixed Malek’s speech with Mindhunter interrogation scenes, and it’s alarmingly seamless.
Mandarin Oriental removed the commercial from its YouTube channel. I can’t imagine why.
Weirdness Scale: 10/10. I’m a fan of never sitting down to watch this ever again.
Everything in Mr. Robot
The show that put Malek on the map, Mr. Robot was the perfect match between art and artist. As vigilante hacker Elliot Alderson, Malek got to play a protagonist tailored to his strengths, imbuing the character with a mix of manic intensity and raw vulnerability. As the series went on, we got to see the different sides of Elliot, who was revealed to have multiple personas—including the one audiences were originally introduced to, wearing that iconic black hoodie. Malek set the tone from the very first scene, when he confronted a pedophile in a manner that splits the difference between awkward and intimidating.
This is Malek’s sweet spot, and Mr. Robot gave him ample opportunities to cook. And while some might question whether Malek’s Mercury impression was worthy of an Oscar, it’s hard to argue against the actor deserving his Emmy for Mr. Robot. Whenever he stumbles playing an anxious gorilla or a bland detective, Mr. Robot will always be here to remind us that Malek can deliver the goods—provided he gets to be a little off-kilter.
Weirdness Scale: 10/10. I mean, just look at that stare:
Like Tom Hanks said, these are some truly haunting eyes, but from the comfortable distance of a screen, they’re impossible to look away from. This is the Malek Effect, and as long as The Amateur lets our guy dial up the weirdness, we should be in for a good time. Anything less is amateur hour.
