What you watch on Netflix is your business. Or at least, that was the case until the company called out a small group of users for viewing habits it deemed peculiar—more specifically, for watching the Netflix original movie A Christmas Prince 18 days in a row.
First of all: This is a creepy tweet, Netflix. Second of all, the 53 people who have continuously watched A Christmas Prince are not responsible for the film’s existence; they are simply luxuriating in its cinematic beauty. I can say this because I too have watched A Christmas Prince—just once, but still. It falls under the precious category of “so bad it’s good” where every plot point is cheesy and predictable. Plus, it’s a Christmas movie—those two things combined make it ideal comfort viewing for the holidays.
I probably won’t watch A Christmas Prince 18 days in a row—there’s a Star Wars movie coming out this week—but I could honestly do worse things with my time, like play HQ. In fact, I don’t fault those aggrieved 53 human beings for their life choices because there are plenty of reasons you could watch A Christmas Prince every day for nearly three weeks. Here are 18—get it?—of those reasons, with a healthy dose of spoilers:
1. This is the film’s logline: “Royalty. Romance. And a really handsome prince. He’s her most important assignment to date.”
2. This is another rom-com where the protagonist, Amber, is a journalist (Morning Glory, Never Been Kissed, He’s Just Not That Into You, Sleepless in Seattle—these are just drops in the bucket). She’s a copy editor in New York at a tabloid magazine and has to deal with writers who say things like, “Get a load of my next piece: ‘Ugly Christmas Sweaters of the Stars.’ It’s gonna be brilliant, I tell you,” and actually mean it. Now Beat—a really awful name for a magazine—is somehow both the least and most believable publication on the planet.
3. Amber is played by iZombie’s zombie, Rose McIver, an actually very good actress who does her best to make the “journalist looking for her big break” cliché seem fresh—though the dialogue isn’t helping.
4. The titular prince, Richard, is from a fictional country called Aldovia. Though the name sounds like it belongs in Eastern Europe, every “Aldovian” character speaks with a British accent. Not a single person tries to sound non-English in a country that definitely should be next to Croatia or something. I respect the lack of commitment.
5. Amber is sent on assignment by an editor to cover Richard’s coronation. This line is uttered:
6. A Christmas Prince should not be mistaken with My Christmas Prince, a Lifetime original movie. This isn’t a great argument to watch either movie—I just wanted to point out how gloriously saturated the Christmas Movie Industry is.
7. Amber ends up [deep, exhaustive breath] posing as an English tutor for Richard’s little sister, Emily, to gain access to the family and deliver some scoops for the magazine. Is that super unethical or just good journalism? Would Hunter S. Thompson be proud? Don’t think about it.
8. Richard, who the tabloids describe as a philandering playboy, is in fact prince charming. He has a snowball fight with Aldovian orphans, likes to ride horses, and is a momma’s boy.
His Royal Hotness is the complete package.
9. His sister Emily isn’t too bad, either. She’s got spina bifida (try not to think about how the movie uses Richard’s kindness toward his disabled sister as character development) and keeps Amber’s identity a secret so they can hang out. Her sense of humor includes telling people that there’s a dungeon in the castle where people are sent if they misbehave, which is … hilarious?
10. A good-bad Christmas movie needs a villain that is comically one-dimensional. In A Christmas Prince, it’s Simon, Richard’s cousin who wants the throne to himself and is second in line. He has perfectly jerky hair and says things like:
11. Amber’s attempts to be an actual journalist are ridiculous, yet oddly effective? Characters conveniently spill very huge secrets right next to her, like how Richard could abdicate the throne because he’s unhappy. Amber’s notes, however, are … less impressive.
12. Related: A Christmas Prince will have you retroactively appreciate what Gilmore Girls tried to do with Rory Gilmore’s journalism career. Now you can say, “Hey, she wasn’t as bad as Amber!”
13. Probably the cutest part of A Christmas Prince is when Amber and Emily go sledding, and Richard interrupts them on his horse and they have one big snowball fight. The queen—having not granted Emily permission to go sledding—doesn’t even get mad. She just wants to be invited next time.
Seriously, this movie is so pure.
14. There’s a dumb twist: Richard is adopted! He doesn’t actually have a rightful claim to the throne! I’m not gonna lie, this caught me off guard, and I actually became invested in what would happen come coronation night, which happened to land on Christmas Eve.
15. At a fancy Christmas Eve ball—which the movie just calls, the “Christmas Eve Ball”—Amber wears Converse. This means she’s relatable, but again, not very good at playing it cool while being an undercover journo.
16. Because this feel-good movie only wants to make you feel good, there’s maybe a total of 10 minutes where Richard’s place in the royal line—and his relationship with Emily—is in jeopardy before the movie wills any conflict away. (Turns out, Richard’s father left a note, which doubles as a royal decree, stating his son can be king even if he’s adopted.) And you know what? IT FEELS GOOD.
17. Richard appreciates a good blog.
18. There’s a happy ending—Richard proposes to Amber, who gets to be a literal queen—which right now, at the end of 2017, feels cathartic.
I really get it. Watching something this cheesily gleeful is delightful. And I’m sure it’s still sweet and warm and easy after 18 viewings. So you know what? Quit it with your judgments, Netflix. Don’t be such a Simon.
